Lovely Bastards (BxB) (MxM)

Chapter 33 - And That's Final!

When Charles saw him, all he could think about was how much better it was with Amos.

How in all the time he'd known Hunter, he'd only ever used him. How he'd been so dependant, so in love...

But love wasn't about giving up control in return for affection. It wasn't. Love was about...

Love was about...

Stretching out your hand in reconciliation, like Kit had done. Offering forgiveness in exchange for nothing. Acceptance not of his actions, but of who he was. 

That he was good enough to call family.

Something unconditional, wordless, that he'd never felt except from his sister, and now, from her son.

Kit was offering him that. Amos might have been, before Charles had messed everything up.

Hunter had never.

And Charles thought for the first time beyond a doubt, that whatever he may deserve, whatever he'd done, he did not have to accept what that man had done.

If there are good people in the world, how come I've stayed around those that aren't? How come I've let them walk all over me for so long?

Maybe...maybe I shouldn't.

His nephew was brave. And it was beyond time Charles took a leaf from his book, no matter how frightening the prospect.

It was time he did more than promise to try.

Hunter reached for him and Charles slapped his hand away.

"No, Hunter!"

The other man looked almost comically surprised, eyes widening, chiseled chin dropping. Charles was breathing hard, trembling, but he had made up his mind.

"No, Hunter," he repeated, tasting the words, rolling them on his tongue. 

"I'm leaving. And I don't want you either - not anymore." He took a deep, shuddering breath.

"You're a - you're an asshole. You never said we were dating. But despite that, if you had asked me, I would have said yes. So many times. I would have said yes."

He swallowed.

"But not anymore. I'm quitting - I'm done. I don't want to date you now or ever. I want you out of my life."

His breath rushed out of him in a whoosh.

"That's my resignation, and it is final."

Charles had felt alone for so long. Clung onto Hunter and his job where he was useful, wanted. Repressed his anxiety and let Hunter swallow it, swallow him whole. 

But now, he realized there could be more to life than hanging on. There could be other types of relationships than ones where he gave everything he had in return for scraps of affection. 

Kit had accepted him the way he was.

Amos had liked him despite knowing his flaws...

Charles breathed loudly, like he'd been running, fear filling him to the brim. But he stood there, Kit at his side.

He felt a brief brush against his skin - the back of the boy's hand against his, offering silent support, his eyes still fixed on Hunter. Letting Charles deal with him. A rush of warmth swept through him.

"This is because of him, isn't it?" His former boss hissed. "You've changed since you took in that urchin."

Kit shouldn't be a comforting presence, but he was. He looked disdainful and unafraid, openly sneering at the much larger man, knees bent slightly and hands out of his pockets, clenched.