shawn mendes oneshots. discontinued

I don't want to be alive

Here he stood, upon a wooden chair in his old house. The house of which he grew up in, in Canada next to the girl who became the love of his life. Three letters grasped in his tight grip, one to his sister, one to his parents and one to her. The one who changed his life for the better until she was no longer around. See Shawn didn't want to die, he wanted to live but he also wanted to be happy. He wasn't happy here. His bedroom window was wide open letting the large gusts of Canada's winter air drift into the room, sending a  old chill down his spine and through his dark brown hair that was all messy. Little did the boy know that in a couple of seconds his younger sister would travel to his room and ask her to play with her, but she find his dead body inside. He sent a hard look around the room,staring and the posters hing up and the chipped paint which was cracking in the corners of his room. Pictures scatter his room, on the walls and the floor was pictures of her, the beauty of his love. His neatly done bed with his yellow Magcon hoodie neatly folded on top, all his hoodies still hanging in his wardrobe some of which collecting dust. This was it. A breathe passed the his lips and the rope was placed around his neck. He kicked the chair away and hung emotionless for a few seconds before he hung lifelessly, the letters falling to the floor like feathers. It became black and was silent, it was over.

"Shawn!" His younger sister shouted from down stairs, she wanted to see if he would come play ice hockey with her on the lake. However, when he didn't reply she carefully travelled up the steep stairs to his room. It was quiet, he was usually playing music when he was in his room. Her scream, Y/N had heard it in her sleep. She was sleeping next door when her best friend hung him self. She pulled on a pair of PJ shorts and one of Shawn's hoodies and began climbing out her window to the overhang roof she had, which had lathe branches near it which she used to get to their treehouse, before then using the branch bridge they made to his window. And almost fell as she climbed through the window when she seen it. The lifeless body of her bestie and boyfriend was hanging dead from his light. Alyigh was crying on the floor next to his body, she was first to find her older brother dead. Their parents ran up the stairs to find their little boy dead.

"My....my son... he committed..." Mrs Mendes tried talking over the phone to the paramedics but broke down crying. Hearing these words may Y/N choke on a sob. She pulled out his razor from his bedside table and began cutting the rope. His cold dead body lay in her arms, her warm fingers tracing over the icy features of his face.

His body was ripped from her grasp crying, the love of her life was dead.

She cried for days, months before it was time to get over him. But she felt him there, his presence standing right next to her with every decision she makes, she was his unfinished business.

"I dont want die today, i finally wanna be alive" Was the last thing written on his letter which reminded her that he had written to her as plea.