The World, Biscuits And Sirius Black According To Nellie O'Neill

Confusion, Friends, Reasons And Me

Chapter Sixteen

Confusion, Friends, Reasons And Me

There are ranges in which you can be a fish finger. Say, the biggest fish finger you could be is a giant one; an example of this would be Sirius Black, who since the party has been avoiding me. I walk into a room; he walks out. I mean how obvious can he get? I haven’t talked to him since that night and it’s now New Years Eve. I knocked on his door a few days after and he didn’t reply. Of course, I explored his room to see if he was in and he wasn’t. I found no Sirius. I just wanted to see whether he was ignoring me or just avoiding me. It’s now a mixture of the two. A small fish finger would be someone like Izzie when she makes one of her comments. Izzie left after two hours or so at the party, she claimed that she had probably been in the bathroom for too long now and her grandparents would be wondering if she had fallen into the toilet and drowned or something along the lines of that.

Tonight, James decided we would all have a get together to see the New Year together. That includes me, Izzie, Lily, James, Remus, Sirius and Peter. Mm, I can sense that there is going to be some awkwardness between me and Sirius.

Lovely.

…I need to talk to him. We’re friends right? The rejection placed us right back into the friend zone. We can’t let one little incident stop us from being friends right? Plus, it’s not fair on our other friends if we keep acting weird around each other. I need to tell him that it didn’t mean anything because it didn’t right?

I’m so confused,

Stupid giant fish finger.

Perhaps it did mean something…does that mean I have feelings for him? The thing about emotions is that they are so confusing! You don’t control them, but you feel them. Somehow, I think us humans have got the short straw on this deal.

I need some biscuits.

At least a packet.

I don’t think I was ready for that kiss, because a kiss is never just that; a kiss. It brings along a whole new host of emotions, it brings along love, heartbreak, lust. A kiss can change everything. It changes situations and I wonder if it has changed mine and Sirius relationship forever. I hope not.

I don’t like him like that. I just can’t. I can understand why a normal girl would I mean, he is beautiful, kind; funny…I’m going to shut up now.

…Okay, I‘ll admit it…I might like him. I might not. Even if I did, It would only be a little bit. A tiny bit. A bit that could be barely called a bit! What the apple pie! I don’t fancy Sirius Black. I’ve lost the plot. Yeah. That seems like a good enough excuse for these weird thoughts.

I’m Nellie and I’ve gone cuckoo.

Ah, but wasn’t I cuckoo already?

I can’t help that I enjoy insanity.

Or should I argue that I am normal?

I need to go on a Sirius detox…but I would miss him too much.

I’m swimming in a bowl of custard without a spoon.

“Hello Nellie.” I look up to see James, I gave a little wave. Perhaps conversation would keep my mind of Sirius. He sat next to me, “Biscuit?” James chucked the packet at me. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.” James raised his eyebrow, “Okay. I was just thinking.”

“Nellie? Thinking? Well I never!” James joked, as I stuffed a biscuit in my mouth.