The World, Biscuits And Sirius Black According To Nellie O'Neill

Rain, Food, Songs And Me

The common room freaks me out when it's empty. It's too eerie. When all I can hear is the sound of my own breathing, it freaks me out even more. In a horror movie, you would be screaming at me to 'get out of the damn room', since the murderer is obviously hiding behind the chair with a deadly wand or something. 'Cause hey, it's Hogwarts.

Okay. I better stop now. That would never happen.

It's as safe as anything here. That's what they tell us anyway. My parents believe that I'm safer here than when I'm not and I trust their judgement.

Only on certain things.

Other times... as if.

The big ugly clock tells me it's past one in the morning. It's funny how time goes by when you're doing absolutely nothing. I've been sitting here for quite a while. The last people shifted away and went to sleep ages ago, leaving me to share the common room with my thoughts.

I'd rather share it with people right now to be honest.

I couldn't stop thinking. I closed my eyes and tried to make my mind empty but a thought managed to swim to the surface and bother me.

Regulus. My first. My first love, relationship, heartbreak. I don't know why I feel so hurt that it's over. Then again, I knew it wouldn't last; we both did. Regulus was going to become a Death Eater from the beginning. Still, I'd always hoped he would master the courage to defy, break free, unleash the chains. I wish he was strong. I'm not saying he's weak, he's just not strong. He can't fight the urge for power.

Power.

I mean power.

It just wouldn't last. We had no chance. I knew this from the first time he kissed me and even the first time he left me. Fate danced our relationship off a cliff.

Was letting him go the right choice? Was I meant to fight? Was it even possible to let him go?

I wasn't so sure.

I tried to forget him before and couldn't manage it. I sealed the wounds, only to have them sliced open again.

Typical.

Just Typical. Think you're over a guy, then he sends you a sentence and you jump back into everything you tried to forget.

Hi, I'm Nellie and I'm a fool.

The fire crackled, almost like it was hissing at me. I wondered if this meant I had to chuck a log on it but I didn't know if it was controlled by magic or not.

Most things here are controlled by magic.

Plus, there are no logs around to chuck on it.

I heard the portrait door swing open and the Marauders entered, talking amongst themselves and laughing carelessly.

"Hello Nellie," James gave a tiny wave when he saw me.

"Hello," I returned the wave.

I scanned them all and noticed something; Sirius Black was glaring at me.

His eyes were fiery and full of anger. Something was stirring inside that boy. He held my gaze and I refused to let go because I'm really good at this game. I was a champion when I was younger. I could go without blinking for ages... that is until I start watching T.V. and then I start blinking rapidly. I'm aware of it but completely unable to control it.

"What is the matter with..." I began.

"Nellie?" I was forced to tear my eyes away, but mark my words Sirius Black, this is not over!