Bound By Madness

84. Rebuild

I heard the footsteps behind me as I added another stitch to the pattern, the deep red petal caught gently upon the grey webbing that covered my leg. It would take a closer look than most would get to see the curves and loops that formed the names hidden in the curls of a few of the petals that looked as if they had floated down from the single flower resting on my hip.

"Faith? I- I wanted to apologize. I didn't understand what you meant when-" the soft words halted as I felt a hand rest gently upon my shoulder, holding the needle still as I looked up into Babette's wide eyes. "Faith? Why is her name on there with the others?"

Because Commander Maro told us that he'd killed her after he'd gotten what he wanted from her. He had gloated about it until my Cicero slit his throat in return for his words. I do not know if he told the truth, if she lives or not, but I have no idea how to find where she would be kept if she does. And by the time I could find her... No, it might be better if she is already gone than for her to suffer that kind of fate. To be honest, its... It's almost like when I lost my mother all over again, no idea if she lives or not and nothing I can do but mourn for her.

"But why would you mourn her? Why put her name with those you called your treasures? Living or dead, why do you still act like she deserves your care?" She looked confused as she asked her questions, one of my hands coming up to grasp her hand and give a gentle squeeze before letting go.

Because in the end, it does not matter how she treated me. She let me stay, even when it was obvious she did not want me there. She could have made me leave, could have sent me away before any of you came to know me and care for me and none of you would have ever thought twice of it at that point. But she didn't do that. Even if she grew to hate me, she didn't make me leave my treasures and go. She was part of the Family I grew to love and whether we got along or not, Family is always something to be treasured. Family is one of the greatest treasures there is and one that far too few understand the value of until it is too late.

I was unsure if the Not Child understood me but moments later I felt her hand upon my shoulder for but a moment before she turned and walked out of the room in silence, my fingers moving again to continue the stitches needed to finish the petal I was working on.

"Gentle Faith has a kind heart, to consider even Astrid a treasure to her. Cicero hopes that he can find a way to show his Faith how much of a treasure she is to him, one that could never be replaced. Nor would Cicero wish to ever replace her, even if he should someday lose her. No, Cicero would only hope that somehow he would be able to return to her side if that should happen," he said as he moved closer before sitting across from me upon the bed, making sure not to cause the bed to shift too much. "The flower petals are lovely, sweetness."

Silently watching my hands move for the next several minutes, he waited patiently until I had finished and put my needle and threads away before leaning over to press a gentle kiss upon my forehead as he pulled me into his lap. It was only when he wiped his gloved fingers across my face that I realized I'd begun crying once more, wrapping my arms around him as I let go of everything I was feeling.

"It will be okay, sweet Faith. Cicero is here for you. He will not leave Faith alone to mourn. Cicero knows that Mother will not demand he abandon her ever-faithful Child. Cicero won't leave. I won't leave you alone, not ever."

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"We need to rebuild the Family. Faith was right when she said our numbers are too few. We need to grow if we want to spread Mother's influence across all of Skyrim, let alone Tamriel!" The Listener, my Bastian, stated confidently as he stood in front of those who were left of our small family. "I have collected a list of petitioners from Mother for those who wish to complete them, but in the meantime, I feel it is just as important to keep our eyes and ears open for potential recruits."

Taking a deep breath, I looked into my Cicero's eyes before nodding and stepping forward, turning once I stood beside my Bastian and looking out at my precious Siblings.

As each of you is much more capable than I as an Assassin, I would like to volunteer to go out and search for new Siblings to join us. While out, I can spread the word that we are still active in hopes of encouraging more petitioners for Mother. News of the death of the Emperor will help, of course, but if people learn of our continued existence from multiple sources, they are more likely to act upon it. Also... also it will allow me to see if there is any word of what happened to... I need to... I can't sit here and not at least try to find out if she's...

My Cicero wrapped his arms around me, looking out at our Siblings before turning to lead me toward the table along the back of the room, my head resting against his shoulder before I stopped and looked up at him.

Sweet Cicero, you understand, don't you? Why I need to know?

"Of course, sweetness. Cicero understands and he will see if Mother will allow him to go with his dear Faith. But if not, then Cicero insists Faith takes one of our Siblings with her. He does not want her to go out alone, not with the guards searching for the Brotherhood," he whispered softly, running his fingers through my hair as he used his other hand to guide me forward again.

"No need to bother. I will go with her, just as I always did before all of this. Between Amicus and I, we are more than capable of keeping our Juniper safe," Ellery said with a smirk on his face, his blue eyes narrowed as he watched my Cicero freeze in place at his words.

"Oh, but Cicero insists. If Mother allows him, Cicero will happily travel beside his dearest Faith. After all, Cicero and Faith belong together, for as long as Mother allows. And Mother adores sweet Faith, the Listener himself said so. As far as Cicero is concerned, that is as much approval as Cicero needs to call Faith his own. Forever and always," my Jester Assassin said softly as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me against him while he glared at Ellery, eyes narrowed at the Jester even as he pressed his lips against my cheek.

I'll take neither of you with me this time! Not when you are behaving like this! I'll take Arn with me! If he is willing to come, that is?

Looking up at the Tall Nord, I stepped away from the man I loved and held out a hand toward the man I was asking to accompany me. Any other time, I would happily pick my Cicero and my Ellery both, but this time... Looking up into those far too sad eyes, I continued waiting with my hand out until I finally felt fingers slowly wrap around my own and smiled sadly at the man.

If she is alive, we will find out where they have her. But whether she lives or not, we will bring her home. I promise.