Bound By Madness

49. Gathering Flowers

I slipped out of the door, having said a quick goodbye to my Cicero before heading off to gather fresh flowers while he tended to Mother. Something pretty and colorful to add to the nightshade that grew so well nearby. It would take my mind off of the bewildering behavior of our Siblings. How could they seem so polite one moment and yet to rude the next? I just couldn't wrap my head around it. Especially when it came to my poor Jester Assassin.

Sighing, I turned toward the nearby town and began picking the various flowers I found as I walked slowly down the nearby path. My mind wandered, flitting between thoughts of the books I had added to my collections as well as wondering how much longer it would be before my small investment was ready to be picked up.

I had gotten tired of trying to convince the Angry Nord to make a door for our room and had commissioned the blacksmith at Falkreath Hold to see if he could help get ahold of one and make the hinges for it. Then it would be a simple matter of getting the Angry Nord to simply put it up, rather than building one from scratch. Surely he would be willing to at least do that much if I could figure out what kind of trade he might be interested in.

Of course, that was the hard part. Out of all of the Family beside the Pretender, the Angry Nord was the hardest one to understand. The rest seemed, for the most part, easy enough to at least have some ideas about once I spent some time watching them and listening. The Kitchen Master enjoyed his cooking, as well as reading from time to time. The Not Child liked her alchemy, which reminded me to keep an eye out for any ingredients I might find during my walk, as well as some of the more notable books I had collected. The Grumpy Uncle had shown an interest in some of the more unusual trinkets I had slipped under his pillow. I'd heard him mumbling about a spell to turn people inside out, but I wasn't skilled enough in magic to help with that, although I had been keeping my eyes open for any books that might help.

The Quiet Scaled One seemed happy enough with the little treats I left on his bed so far, although I had yet to learn enough about him to know what kind of trinkets he would truly favor. The Unusual Sister was harder yet, although kind in her own manner with her odd way of speaking around me. The last time she had seen me and begun talking of broken souls and forgotten secrets, I had ended up hurrying from the room with a silent apology, not able to stop the shiver of unease that had worked its way down my spine.

The Pretender was impossible for me to understand, simply because I couldn't get my head around her total dismissal of our Mother beyond seeing her as some kind of trophy that, once attained, she wanted to have kept out of sight for some reason. It was like watching the Emperor take his crown and lock it in a chest to be forgotten instead of worn with pride.

No, it was worse than that. It was like watching someone ask the Emperor to visit and then shoving him into the most rundown, forgotten about room they could find and expecting him to stay without complaint. It was madness.

Looking down, I noticed I had ripped the last flower I picked apart, dropping the pieces and taking a deep breath to try and relax. At least I had managed to fill the basket halfway with pretty flowers, as well as a fair amount of herbs and mushrooms for Babette to have. I'd definitely lost track of time if I'd picked this many while I was thinking.

Turning around, I began heading back Home so I could help Cicero pick through and give Mother the prettiest of the flowers. The rest would join the other plants for Babette's alchemy ingredients.

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I'd barely gotten to the main chamber of the Sanctuary when I heard shouting from upstairs, running toward the sound until I could make out the Pretender forcing her way into Mother's sanctum. What was going on? What reason would she have to go inside-

"Our Lady is back! She has chosen a Listener! She has chosen you! Ha ha ha! All hail the Listener!" The Jester Assassin's voice called out from within as I finally made it to the open doorway, looking at him as he stepped back from a roughed up looking Initiate.

Seeing the broken smile on my Cicero's face, I couldn't help but set the basket of flowers down quickly and hurry over to him, raising a hand up to place against his cheek and gather his attention.

My sweet Cicero. It will be okay. Remember, even if we don't understand why she chooses as she does, Mother knows better than us and makes her choices accordingly. It might not be what we want, but it must be what we need. We... We can teach him more, help him understand, and if it comes to it... we can keep him safe. I'll do whatever I can to help keep the Listener safe for you, I promise. I won't let the time you spent waiting for him, searching for him, be in vain because that Fake Leader didn't understand his value to the Family. To you.

Pulling him into a hug, I spent a moment just holding him close before letting him pull away, although I once more cupped his cheek and turned his head to focus his attention on my lips.

I'm sure that if she didn't need you as her Keeper so badly, Mother would have picked you instead. But even I must agree with her, there is nobody in the world who could replace you as Keeper, the one who is trusted to care for her when she needs it most. If you were lost, we would all be lost with you, and then who would be left to serve her will?

This time, when he pulled gently away, I allowed it and instead turned to gather up the flowers that had fallen from the basket in my haste to get here. I managed to make it halfway downstairs before the first tear fell.

Oh Mother, why did it have to be him? Why couldn't you have made Cicero your Listener and had him teach me how to Keep you? Ahh, but you must have your reasons. I should listen to my own advice and remember that every good mother has reasons for what she does, even if her children don't understand them yet.

Wiping at my eyes with my free hand, I placed the basket down near the waterfall and sat down, watching the water tumble into the pool below.

I'm sorry, Mother. It's just a little harder than I thought it would be. I... I just want Cicero to be happy, and he was so close to crying that I couldn't stand it. If you could, please give him a reason to smile and let me do the crying for him?