Bound By Madness

69. The Calm

I woke up with a pair of warm arms wrapped around me, one bare hand resting against my side while a gloved hand lay upon my back. I could hear a slow, steady beat against my ear, soothing to listen to as I lay there for several minutes just slowly trying to work up the strength to open my eyes. I couldn't get over the desire to simply lay like this forever, feeling warm and safe within the embrace of the man I loved.

I hadn't thought to ever feel like this again after... after Ellery, but here I was, my heart beating in time with his as the scent of oils and flowers filled my nose, a subtle hint of something else hidden within them. Before I could figure out what it was, a soft rumble of laughter broke me from my thoughts.

"If darling Faith keeps sniffing at Cicero like that, he might start thinking strange things," he mumbled, his arms tightening around me playfully before his fingers suddenly began tickling against my sides for a moment before he stopped and kissed the crown of my head. "Cicero could happily wake up like this more often, even if Faith insists on spending part of the morning doing strange things like checking if he smells. Cicero would have her know that he bathed just the other day, however, and should only smell of Mother's oils."

The little sniff of playful disapproval he gave sent me into silent laughter yet again before I finally opened my eyes and looked up at him as I lifted my head regretfully away from his chest, still feeling the softness of his nightshirt. Blushing still from his words, I cupped a hand against his cheek and smiled at him.

You do not smell poorly, my Cicero. Your words are mostly right, as you smell of Mother's oils. But you also smell of the lovely flowers you arrange for her and something else, but I couldn't figure out the other scent as it hides under the rest. I was simply trying to figure out what the other scent was, but it doesn't really matter other than it is part of the scent that comes from the man I love.

"Oh, does Faith like how Cicero smells? She does not mind that he smells like flowers instead of something more... manly?" He looked up at me as I leaned over him slightly, staring into my eyes as he reached up to brush my hair back behind my ear.

Shaking my head, I leaned down and kissed his lips lightly before pulling back again.

I much prefer how you smell. Most men I've been close to always smelled of sweat, dirt, ale, or mead. You smell of the love you have for Mother, taking care of her and making sure she has something pleasant to look at when she chooses to see what surrounds her body. You smell of that which you treasure most in the world.

"Oh? Does that mean I also smell similar to Faith as well?" He said, his eyes wide.

Blushing, I ducked back down and buried my face in his shoulder, listening to him as he began to chuckle. He wrapped his arms around me and held me gently, his lips pressing softly against my head as he whispered his next words.

"How can Cicero smell like that which he treasures if he does not smell at least somewhat like his dearest Faith, the thing he treasures most after his sweet Mother? Although, he thinks that after spending a night with his pretty Faith in his arms, he must have absorbed something, yes? Oh, but if not, he is willing to try again! Maybe he could convince Faith to wear something lighter to bed next time?" He teased me, plucking gently at the long-sleeved shirt I had worn to help protect the fresh stitches during our sleep, causing me to look up at him again.

Next time? You mean... you really want to share a bed again? Just to sleep? Ellery never-

"Cicero is not Ellery. If Cicero should be compared to someone else, perhaps Amicus would be a better choice?" He tapped an ungloved finger against my lips.

Oh... but he didn't share a bed just to sleep either. No, I think maybe... I should stop trying to compare you with either of them. It's not fair to you. Cicero is Cicero and I need to treat you only as yourself. But Cicero, if you want to sleep in my bed again, do you mind if we maybe push the beds together next time? This bed is a little small for two people and I nearly rolled off the side last night...

Even though he burst out laughing at the end of my words, I couldn't keep the smile from showing on my face at the thought swimming in my head. Next time... there would be a next time.

--------

There was a tension in the room that afternoon as the Too Tall Nord took two plates of food and left the common room where the rest of the Family still at the Sanctuary sat. Everyone was visibly uncomfortable as they looked down at the food in front of them, the lack of the Once Leader and the reasons behind it leaving most of the Siblings unsure how to behave around each other. Looking at each of them before turning to peek at my Cicero, I finally turned to face the one person who had proven to be a source of stability during the change of leaders.

Kitchen Master, will you be taking over the role of leader until the False One has come to her senses and decided to stop trying to treat us as unwanted guests instead of as Family? How long do you think it will take her to realize we never wanted to take her Sanctuary away from her but simply reintroduce Mother's influence into a place it was much needed? Do you think she will ever be willing to step back into her position once the Family is strong enough to reopen one of the other Sanctuaries? Or will she remain too upset to deal with a second branch of the Family? Although, I'm not sure how long it would take to gain that many new Family members, so maybe it would be enough time for her to remember how to treat Family? I don't-

"Wait! Do you really mean you want Astrid to become the leader of this Sanctuary again? After what she did to you? How she treated you? Why? Why would you trust her that much?" The Not Child said as she stared at me in shock, the others quickly turning their heads to join in.

Only my Cicero simply watched quietly, slowly taking bites of his food as he listened to the rest of the Family softly mumbling to each other around us.

I never wanted her to lose her Sanctuary. I don't hate her, simply how she failed to behave like this was a Family and not simply a guild. If it was meant to simply be yet another guild, the Brotherhood would have died off long ago. Perhaps it was because so few members remembered that the Dark Brotherhood was a Family and not just a group of assassins... maybe that is why so many were allowed to fall? I can't really say for sure, since I was not part of the Family at the time, and I could be very wrong about that. But just look at those who are left of the Brotherhood. Cicero has always treated the Brotherhood as his family, has put Mother's needs even before his own. And the Listener has been searching for family and found this Sanctuary. Each of you also seems to care about the Family and wanted to keep each other safe. But many of you seemed to have... forgotten who your Family really is when we first arrived? Also, you seemed to have forgotten what family was meant to be and only had what you thought it might be?

"What do you mean, who our Family really is?" Babette frowned at me as she spoke.

Well, most of you have forgotten who and what our Mother is and I am unsure if I want to even ask if it is the same for our Father as well. How can one really be family if they don't know their own parents? And how can they know their parents if they don't even remember how much their parents love them? Do any of you even know how much Mother loves you? How long she's waited to be able to speak to you again?