I Just Can't Handle It - John Deacon

The Management

It was the day after my little music lesson. The mood in the house has been really good, everyone is happy and joking around. I was, until I picked up the ringing phone to find it was Dad on the other end.

"Hello?" I greeted

"Hello Olivia, it's dad" The voice on the end said

"Oh hey Dad, what's up?" I questioned

"I've just come back from a meeting about the single and b-side" Dad stated

"Yeah?" I said hesitantly

"They aren't happy with it" Dad commented

"Who?" I said bluntly

"The powers above - Ray Foster" Dad answered

"It's what the band want so that's what's happening" I argued

"They won't release it" Dad warned

"Can we just talk about this when you come on Sunday? I feel like the boys should be involved and we can't all use the phone at once" I explained

"Ok, I agree. I'll see you on Sunday" Dad said

"Bye dad"

"Bye dear, love you"

"Love you too" I said before hanging up

I put the phone down and put my head against the wall. Why is everything going against me? I know the boys promised me that I'll be sticking around but I can't stop thinking that they aren't helping with the situation. I know a six minute long song is rare, but this one is amazing! It shouldn't matter. And a song about a car? It's actually good when you look past the title. But that's all the managers see, the title and the length.

I went back into the studio, trying to put my best smiley face on. It must have been believable because all I got were smiles when I walked in. Freddie was singing some vocals and the other three were at the desk. The song seemed really dark.

"Wow! What is the song about?" I asked

"The management" Freddie answered

"I didn't think I was that bad" I raised an eyebrow

"No darling not you. It's about your predecessor" Freddie explained

"Who was it? I thought Dad managed you?" I quizzed

"Jim manages the managers. He's the link between the record label and us" Roger said

"Yeah, Jim deals with them and you deal with us" Brian added

"Miami was just doing all the jobs until we found a new manager - who we can trust. You fitted the bill perfectly" Freddie beamed

"So who was this person?" I asked

"He doesn't deserve to be called a person" John sighed

"He was called Paul Prenter, and hopefully he will be locked away for a long time" Freddie looked close to tears

"What did he do?" I said, panicked by everyone's reaction

"He manipulated Freddie" John uttered

"You came worse off John! He attacked you!" Freddie revealed

"He attacked you?" My voice was quiet

John just simply nodded, keeping his eyes to the floor.

"I'm sorry John, I shouldn't have blurted it out" Freddie apologised

"It's ok Freddie. Livi was bound to find out at some point" He sighed, "I'm just going to take a moment"

"Take as much time as you need" Brian smiled softly at John

John nodded before swiftly leaving the studio. I looked over at Freddie who looked so guilty, he hand his head in his hands.

"It's alright Fred" I said as I walked up to him and patted his shoulder, "I'll go and see if he is ok"

I walked out and went to find John. I checked all over the farm house with no luck of finding him. The only place I figured where he'd be was outside. I went outside and was instantly met with the beating sun. The weather has been so nice, it feels more like a holiday than work. I walked over to the patio where I knew there was a bench and a few chairs. I finally found John with his feet up on the bench.

"Hey" I broke the silence and made myself known

"Hello" He said in his sweet tone

"Are you ok? Freddie feels really bad" I said after John moved his legs so I could sit on the bench with him

"I was kind of hoping my past wouldn't be brought up anymore" John said as he looked out to the horizon

"Sometimes it's better to confront it" I said from experience. Even Roger felt better after telling me about his dad.

"I know, it was just a rough time and I don't want to bring those emotions back, and especially not put them on you" John held my hand

"Don't feel like a burden. You said I'd find out, so please talk about it. You shouldn't have to carry this all by yourself" I frowned

"Alright." John took a deep and shaky breath before beginning, "Paul became our manager, our first ever manager. He took advantage of the fact we were new and we really didn't know how any of this worked. He was around for the Queen 2 album, luckily nothing else. It began with Freddie really. He would get these phone calls at any hour of the day, trying to get Fred to see him or do something for him. Freddie became his little pet without noticing. It really turned Freddie into quite a nasty person - rude, showing up late, heartless, y'know. Roger and Brian tried talking to him but he wouldn't listen. It got to that point where if I didn't say something, we were all going to go our separate ways." John explained

"That's terrible" I put my arm around John

"I was dreading having to talk to Freddie. Yes, he was and still is my best friend, but he had changed because of Paul. While I was having that talk and trying to get Freddie to snap out of it, Paul came around the corner and heard everything. He vowed to make my life h-hell, and h-he did" John sniffled

"It's ok, cry if you want" I reassured John. All he needs is comfort right now and that was what I was trying my best to do

"It started off with small remarks that I could shrug off. But then, whenever I was caught alone and in a dark place, he would beat me up. I know it only really stopped last year but I sometimes get panic attacks when I am alone in a dark corridor. That's what happened at our last show. I only started sleeping in my own room at the start of this year" John looked embarrassed at this

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, you did what you had to do" I gave him a peck on the cheek

"I finally told someone what was happening, Brian. He told Jim and Jim got him sacked. We saw a complete change in Freddie, he was back to normal but I wasn't, I was more jittery than ever before. I finally had to tell Freddie and that was when he insisted to report this. Now Paul is in prison for a good few years" John ended his story and leaned his head on my shoulder

"Thank you for telling me, you're very brave" I whispered

"I'm sorry you had to find out like this" John muttered

"I'm glad I did find out. Now I understand they way you may be feeling sometimes" I placed my hand on his cheek and brought his head up so I could capture his lips