I Just Can't Handle It - John Deacon

I'm Warning You

The next morning, Thursday, I didn't wake up until quite late. We have been working really hard over the past few days and even though I'm usually an early bird, I think this was my body's way of telling me to have a rest.

I rolled out of bed at around 11am and got changed into a white pair of skinny (and unintentionally ripped) jeans, and a baby blue t-shirt. I put a brush threw my hair and gave my face a quick wash. My thoughts bought me to John. Yes, I'm falling for him. I'm glad I overheard their conversation the other day and I'm glad he is finally opening up a bit.

I practically crawled up the stairs and wondered into the kitchen to make myself a bowl of cereal. I could hear some sort of noise coming from the studio so I concluded that all the boys were in there. I opened the cupboard door to get the box of cereal, when I shit it again I was met with the face of Brian May.

"Bloody hell Bri" I sighed after my heart rate went back to its normal rhythm

"Good morning to you too sleepy head" Brian smiled

"Why aren't you recording?" I asked

"Have you heard what they are doing? I'm not getting involved" Brian rolled his eyes

"I haven't heard exactly what's happening. Care to show me?" I quizzed

"Eat up first" Brian softly instructed

"Ok Mother" I mumbled

Brian gave me a small shove before he hopped up on to the counter, dangling his long legs as he sat there. He watched me as I ate which sounds creepy but it wasn't. Me and Brian are literally best friends so it didn't feel weird at all.

Once I was finished I put my bowl in the sink and followed Brian through the farm house and to the recording studio.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Brian questioned

"You're slightly scaring me" I giggled nervously

"I'm warning you" Brian said as he opened the door

In the recording studio, Freddie and Roger were at the microphone making the weirdest kazoo noises. John was at the desk as if everything was normal.

"What the hell is this?" I quizzed

"Seaside Rendezvous!" Freddie protested

"Morning" John smiled warmly

"Hey" I said after walking over to him and putting my hand on his shoulder

"Did you like it?" Roger shouted

"Um, I'll make my mind up when it's finished" I grinned and nodded

"See what I mean" Brian whispered

"Yeah, let's go" I turned around and headed for the door, Brian was hot in my heels

We went into the living room and collapsed on to the sofa. I cuddled up to Brian as he turned on the TV. We were watching some old quiz show and Brian was being a big show off and getting all the answers right. Every time he got one right, I either sighed or rolled my eyes while he sat the smugly. Of course I was joking, to be honest I was more jealous that I didn't have great knowledge. I only got the music questions right.

John walked in to the living room and saw me and Brian cuddled up on the sofa. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

"Uh, I'm s-sorry" his face turned bright red and he ran upstairs

"John!" Brian called out but John was upstairs like a shot

"What was that all about?" I questioned

"We're hugging. It may not mean anything more than friendship to us but it must've crushed John" Brian sighed

"Oh no" I sat up, "He has only just started getting comfortable around me and now I've gone and blown it"

"Go see him. Just explain but be gentle, he's probably upset" Brian frowned

"Alright" I nodded, feeling hesitant. I've not seen John upset before and I wasn't quite sure how to handle it.

I slowly made my way up the stairs and strolled up to his door. I brought my hand up to knock on his door but paused for a second. I took a deep breath and built up the courage to knock the door.

"W-who is it?" John's voice squeaked

"It's Livi, can I come in please?" I winced as I spoke

There was a long moment of silence before John opened the door. He wouldn't look at me, opting to look down instead. He then started wiping his eyes, obviously crying. My heart physically lurched out to him and my instincts took over. The next thing I knew, I was kissing John. I had brought my hand up to his cheek to make him face me and as soon as his lips were in sight, my lips connected to them. Everything felt so right and so perfect, at least it did on my half.

"No" John backed away, "I can't do this"

"Can I explain?" I asked

"There's nothing to explain" John shrugged

"Come on John" I sighed, "I know what is going through your head"

"Can I have some space please?" John sniffled

"O-ok. Let me know when you want to talk" I said close to a whisper, "And please do come and talk when you're ready, I really care about you"

John nodded before I turned on my heels and left his room. I made my way down to my own room, trying not to sob. I had really gone and done it now. Just as everything was going right, we were back at square one with John not wanting to talk to me. I will never trust my instincts again; I've just lost a true friend.