I Just Can't Handle It - John Deacon

Biscuits

We arrived at Ridge Farm. Dad was right, it was away from the hustle and bustle, far, far away. We all jumped out of the big car we were driven in and quickly took out our bags before the car drove off again to God knows where.

Now it is just me and the boys staring up at this pretty big building.

"What now Miss Manager?" Freddie questioned

"Uh, let's just get settled. I'll show you your rooms and then we can just hang out or something" I planned, "also, don't call me that"

"Lead the way" Brian smiled

"Alright" I said confidently as I picked up my small suitcase, about half the size of Freddie's

"Roger leave the poor chicken alone and get your arse indoors!" Brian shouted

I heard an unfamiliar chuckle and soon realised it was John. He still hasn't spoken a word so it was good to hear at least something from him. Even though it took Roger being a dork to make him come out of his shell a bit. He has a cute laugh, I won't lie, it matches him.

"Ok" I said as we reached the top of the stairs, "Freddie in there, Roger there, Brian over there, and John just through there" I pointed at each individual door

"Where will you be?" Brian quizzed

"Basement" I answered

"We can swap, I don't mind" Brian offered

"No no, you stay there. I'll be just fine" I reassured him. "If you need anything just find me" I said as I went down the stairs to find my room and unpack a few things

Yes my room was the smallest room but I didn't care one bit. The boys should be together because that is the whole idea of a band. I wasn't going to push Brian out. Plus, he would never fit under these small ceilings of the basement. I, on the other hand, fitted perfectly. I never have been tall, apparently I take after my mum for that.

I don't see my mum a lot. Her and dad had me when they were quite young so she wasn't really in the position to be able to look after me. They did eventually split up when I was only a baby and Dad was the one who was able to look after me. I still don't think Mum could handle having me around for long periods of time. We treat each other more like friends then mother and daughter. We keep in touch through letters rather than visits. Anyway, she lives in Cardiff, Wales now - far away from me in London.

After I unpacked my things, I went up into the living room. I saw Brian, Roger, and Freddie sat up there, spaced out on the two long sofas parallel to each other.

"Hey guys, where's John?" I questioned after quickly spotting that the youngest member of the group was missing

"In his room still" Roger answered

"I'm just going to see if he is alright" I said before climbing back up the creaky stairs

I knocked on the door to John's room.

"It's open" He called out

"Hello John, it's just me" I said as I poked my head into the room

"O-oh! Uh h-hello" he stammered

"Just wanted to see if you're ok. The boys are downstairs in the living room" I smiled

"Er, y-yes. I'm fine, yes, fine" John nodded with bright pink cheeks

"I'll leave you to it, we are just downstairs. Come and join us when you're ready" I said, not wanting to push him into anything when he is clearly uncomfortable

"T-thank you" He smiled ever so slightly

I went back downstairs and saw Freddie in the kitchen.

"Hey Freddie" I greeted him

"Hello darling" He gave me the brightest smile

"Is John ok? He just seems a bit uncomfortable" I said in hushed tones

"He'll be fine. He gets nervous over little things and panics a lot. He's probably just trying to get used to this place and having a new person around" Freddie explained

"The last thing I want to do is make him on edge" I whispered

"He was like it for a good week or so when he joined the band. He started making Roger, of all people, nervous with his hands constantly shaking and stuff" Freddie tutted, "He thought we were going to need yet another bass player."

"I see" I nodded

"He'll open up soon I'm sure" Freddie gave me a one armed hug as he held a packet of biscuits in the other hand

"You are not living off biscuits for a month" I raised both eyebrows

"What?" Freddie complained

"You're sharing!" I said before quickly pulling out a chocolate biscuit from his hands and running off to the living room

As I ran back to where Roger and Brian were I stumbled right into John who had just entered the room. I felt so bad for him, it must have taken a while to get the courage to come down and now I've just nearly knocked him off his feet.

"John I'm so sorry" I quickly grabbed hold of his hands to steady him

"I-it's ok" He pulled away and swiftly sat down next to Brian

"That was your fault" I pointed to Freddie

"No way your putting that on me!" Freddie whined as we both sat down in either side of Roger

"I am sorry John, I promise to look in front of me when I'm stealing biscuits in the future" I vowed

Brian and Roger let out a laugh.

"My bloody biscuits too! I bought them with my own money!" Freddie groaned

"I'll buy you some more" I rolled my eyes, "and I'll make it up to you somehow John"

"No n-need. I'm fi-fine" He looked down to his hands as he spoke