Converse ·· Luke Brooks

Chapter 44

Chapter 44

I didn’t know how long I must’ve been sleeping, but it felt like I was dead for weeks. I kept waking up from time to time, only to stay conscious for a few minutes before passing back out again. I couldn’t feel my whole body, only the few tingles that ran through them when I woke up. My mind was absolutely buzzing; thinking of one person. Luke. The darling boy which had grabbed my heart right in his hands. The boy which I was leaving.

I know I over reacted. But wouldn’t you do the same thing? You broke not only your own heart from leaving him, but his own. To see the realization on his face when you told him you were leaving. It came right back at you, only to slap you across the face several times. The feeling to never know when you would see the boy you love ever again. I didn’t know if he was going to forgive me; to come tell me it was all going to be okay and that we could make this work, or if he would never contact me again. I wouldn’t know what was going to happen and that made me want to be sick.

To me, life was finally getting good with Luke in the picture. Things had turned around. I had gained two friends; Simon and Natalie. I had a boyfriend. A beautiful gorgeous boyfriend who I wasn’t afraid to show off. My relationship with my Auntie had reconnected. Now we weren’t just principal and student, but auntie and niece; just how a family should be. I was starting to enjoy ballet. For the first time ever, I didn’t mind walking into classes nearly every day. I had gotten better, much better. I practiced and practiced, only to realize, I found it easier now. I could pretty much do everything. The only thing that didn’t turn around for me, well was, my parents, my father. He still slapped me. He still yelled at me. Except, it was different. I had a shoulder to cry on. My mother never stopped my father, or stopped to see if I was okay. She just stood and watched. Except, I had someone to tell everything to. I had Luke there to make sure I was okay. He was there the whole time when my Father slapped me, leaving a bright purple bruise.

His name made my heart ache. Luke. Every time I thought of him, my breath would hitch in the back of my throat. It shattered my heart into pieces as he walked out on me. What did I expect though? I would’ve done the same thing. It made me want to slap myself across the face, several times until my skin had turned purple and I could no longer see through my swollen eyes. I didn’t want to take my anger out on me with a razor against my soft skin, but I wanted to smack reality back into myself. I wanted to go after Luke; to make things right. I wanted to tell him that we could make this work. That I could move back to Melbourne as soon as I could. I had to pour my heart out to him, to show that I did care about him. That just his name had me smiling so hard it made my face hurt and it bought the whole zoo to rumble in my stomach. He meant something to me. He meant the world to me.

My eyes fluttered open, to be met by a white ceiling. I didn’t move as I stared at the fan on the wall that was going in continuous circles. It bought a cool breeze against my face, that felt hot. My whole body felt hot. I was sweating. I felt myself wrapped up in sheets. I wiggled my toes and fingers as I took a deep breath in. My lips felt dry as they were parted and my throat slightly stung and I knew that was from sleeping with my mouth open. My eyes felt crusty, as if I had been asleep for a year. I licked my lips, so they were moist.

I sat up slowly on the bed, seeing no one else in the room. I was in the nurses office, resting on the stiff bed that she had in the tiny room. The blinds covered the small window on the door, but I could see heads walking past. I stared at them, almost waiting for someone to open the door. No one did. A constant ticking was going off in my ears and I looked up at the clock. It was noon. I looked around the rest of the room. I always hated being in here. White walls. White celiing. Wooden door. Shelves full of books. Cabinets full of files. Drawers full of medicines. I hated it. The stench of bleach stung my nose.