toxic [larry stylinson] ✔️

♡ two - l ♡

Louis Tomlinson despised looking in the mirror. He used to have a vainglorious mirror that stood next to his miniature and kind of old TV, the antennas bent in an awkward angle. Each time he would walk past it, he'd stop and take a step back. He'd cringe at what he saw and place his dainty fingers on his tan cheek, skimming over it while holding his breath.

He studied how overly feather-like his brown hair was, and how his eyes looked like a pale lifeless blue color. He studied how thin his lips were and pressed them together, self consciousness taking over. He could see his tattoo peeking out from underneath his white long sleeved shirt and he pulled it up.

The thing about the mirror, was that it reminded him of his dad. The person that he saw in the mirror reminded him of his dad.

"Fix your hair, you look like a cretin." He'd say. And so Louis stopped having a fringe and styled his hair up into a quiff, just like his father.

"Wear a button up, nobody wants to see your purposeless tattoos!" And so Louis shopped until all that he had in his closet were long sleeved shirts, just like his father.

"Why don't you just kill yourself already? It'll make everything easier!" And so Louis cut himself until he filled each part of his skin. Until he gathered enough courage to kill himself. Something that his father didn't do, also something that his dad didn't care much about.

"Dad I'm depressed," Louis announced one night. His father stopped eating and looked at his son before laughing his deep throaty laugh that echoed throughout the big house. Louis blinked and he felt anger bubbling up inside of him, making his heart pound. That day was when Louis decided that he could hate no one more than he hated his own father.

His father hadn't always been like this. Well, at least that's what his mother told him before he left. She said that he use to be one of the most genuine guys she ever met, but Louis found that hard to believe. Since birth, Louis felt as if his father had already gave his first impression that he hated him-(he was expecting a girl). His father was cold and heinous, while his mother was happy and carefree. They were total opposites.

Which is probably why they probably split up anyways.

His mother was with him when he got his first tattoo, a stick figure riding on a skateboard. She didn't tell him it was stupid and meaningless unlike his father, instead she smiled and nodded. These weeks that Louis spent with his father made him realize something. She understood.

He didn't.

- ♡-

3 A.M Monday.

Louis stared at the ceiling, his expression grim as he listened to the springing mattress from behind the wall where his father's room was. It was going to be like this everyday, Louis thought. The thing about his father was that even though he was a pastor, he had a habit of picking out any girl that he sees and fucking them. Afterwards, he makes them leave and says to keep it a secret.

It annoyed Louis to no end, but what could he do about it?

Louis hopped out of bed and slipped on his black beanie, trying to ignore the horrid sound of moaning as it filled the quiet house. He grabbed his cell phone from his night stand and slipped his headphones that were already connected to his phone into his ear. He didn't know where he was going, but he didn't want to be here.

He ran down the stairs, half expecting his dad to come out of his room and scream at him, and made his way out the door.

The weather was warm even though it was October. The leaves were falling out of the sky, attacking the ground with it's bright colors so that it looked like autumn threw up. Louis admired how beautiful everything was and smiled to himself, knowing that his best friend Zayn from back home would love to draw this.

Louis dialed Zayn's number quickly, only glancing up once to see where he was walking.

"Ello?" Zayn mumbled into the phone. Louis felt a wave of happiness wash through him when he heard his best friend's voice.

"Zayn!" Louis shouted excitedly.

"Louis it's 3 am, find your chill."

"I can't, my dad is being a dick,"

"What happened?" Zayn sounded concerned, and suddenly he wasn't mumbling his words. Louis sighed with relief, at least someone cared about how he felt being here.

"He's fucking some girl, and I could literally hear it all Zayn! She sounded like a dying walrus!"

"I thought your dad was a pastor?"

"He blesses women by sticking his dick inside of them." Zayn chuckled softly.

"Do you have any friends there?" Louis thought about this question and shrugged, suddenly remembering that boy with the bright green eyes that he met in the church.

"A few people in the church that go to my new school wanna be friends, but they all seem like nerds." Louis explained. "But I did meet this one boy."

"A boy?"

"His name's Henry? Harry, I think- Seemed like a real snob, everything about him was just- refined." The line was silent until Louis heard more shuffling on the other end. "Zayn?"

"Hm? Oh yeah. Sorry I have to get ready for school and you know-" Louis nodded solemnly and looked out at the leaf infested streets before checking the time.

"Oh right, well talk to you later." Louis whispered. There was more shuffling, and then the line went dead.

i love this story tbh