toxic [larry stylinson] ✔️

♡ twenty one - h ♡

     "It's been a month." Harry said sharply. "A month since that asshole has talked to me and seen me, and even his father is telling me that he isn't home–which he probably is!"

     Liam watched as Harry took the last cigarette from his pack and placed it in between his fingers, lighting it with the flicker of his lighter before stuffing it in his pocket. He was about to stick the cigarette in between his lips when Liam grabbed his wrist, lowering it down from his mouth.

     "You've had enough," Liam said quietly, looking out into the ocean water, feeling the cold sand seep beneath his toes and the cool air brush against his skin. "I don't know, Harry. Maybe something happened to him and his father doesn't want anyone to know–try talking to his dad again and see what happens.

   And so he did. Harry stood in front of Louis' house and knocked on the door angrily, knowing that it was getting annoying after the tenth time his fist banged against the wood. Suddenly, Pastor Tomlinson appeared by the door in nothing but boxers and an agitated look on his face.

     "What the fuck happened to Louis?" Harry asked, ignoring how the older man had an amused smile growing across his face.

     "You're really focused on knowing where he is, aren't you?" Harry waited. "Well, if you must know Louis is somewhere getting the help he needs. He will be returning home in about 5 months if that helps you, but that is only if he gets better."

     So he hadn't been avoiding me. "What does he need help for? Louis isn't the type to–"

     "He tried to kill himself last month by crashing into another car, but he made it out alive. I sent him to rehab for a bit so that he can get better, so I am absolutely sure he'll be the perfect son that I made him out to be. Wouldn't you agree?" Pastor Tomlinson hummed, scratching his bare chest lethargically before turning around to check behind him. "So listen, if that's the only thing you came here for then there's your answer."

     Harry opened his mouth and closed it with anticipation because he wanted more answers than what the man was giving him, and so instead he said: "Can I go inside his room? I'll be right out, I promise."

     The man growled under his breath, but he let Harry in regardless and closed the door to lock the smell of nature outside and to keep the smell of stale food and sex in. Harry rushed down the hall until he was inside of Louis' messy room, which was filled with strewn clothes on the floor along with a bunch of pieces of paper. He picked up one piece of paper near his foot and unfolded it so that it was spread out before reading.

i am the bird trapped inside of this tiny cage with no way out
and it doesn't matter how much i scream and shout
i am trapped
forever closed off from the world due to limitations
my clipped wings
my rumpled feathers
though, you are a free bird
we can't be together

     Harry folded this and placed it in his back pocket, picking up yet another one that lay spread out on Louis' bed sheets.

its insane
how much you can make me smile
the weight of the world on my shoulders couldn't take away this happiness i feel when im with you
because it builds
and builds
and b uilds
until i am holding onto nothing but heavy goodbyes

     Harry drops the paper into the bed as if it was on fire before rubbing his head, looking around the room with uneasiness before eyeing the torn picture of Louis and an older woman that looked just like him laying on top of his nearly broken desk. It was sitting near the hole that Louis made, and it was collecting dust along with his laptop. "Louis..."

     He wanted to cry and pull all of his hair out in the process because damnit Louis didn't even bother to say goodbye. He didn't bother to call him from wherever he was and he didn't even– Harry breathed sharply when he heard the sound of paper fall from behind him, causing him to turn around immediately into he was staring at it sitting against the closet door. Read it. Harry sighed and made his way over, picking it up and examining it until he saw his name at the top of it, along with a letter. Well, how cliche.

dear harry (or hazza to me),

im super high right now so ignore my handwriting, though you probably won't see it like ever because im never showing you.

you asked me if i loved you today

and the answer is yes.

yes i do love you, and i love you so much that i can't handle it sometimes. i feel like im going to die of exhaustion from how much i love you, and i don't know why. ive never felt like this before.

like at all.

this is why i can't tell you though, no. i can't tell you i love you. im afraid, harry im so scared. i dont want to be held down and i don't want this power i have taken away from me.

please understand.

im the most confusing person ever, i know. i may make you sad and angry but believe me when i say that i fucking love you.

i love whenever you open your stupid mouth.

i love whenever you have your lips wrapped around my c-ck.

i love how whenever we're together we can't stop the smallest touches from happening.

i love how you're just you.

we can't be together and ive known that for the longest, but i can't help but drag this out you know? im not the best person in the world and i may be a crazy ass drug addict, but i can't pull you into my lifestyle. you deserve a happy and healthy life along with a guy who treats you like the princess you are.

you deserve the world.

and i am sorry that i can't give it to you.

i feel myself slipping in between the cracks of the earth and i don't think i can hold on anymore. im sorry.

love,
louis (or lou to you)

   Harry never hated someone this much in his life.

NOTE: hes not dead but harrys pissed oh shit

major time jump in the next chapter of LOUIS TOMLINSON yay byebye i saved you guys' life

i love you

THANK YOU FOR THE 300 FOLLOWERS RUNS AROUND