Chapter 4

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AUDREY'S POV

"Nobody said it was easy" I sung, practicing my performance for Ellen tomorrow. I've been practicing all evening, despite me being tired from all that dress and shoe shopping earlier. I paused the accompaniment music and flopped on my bed.

"I am so screwed." I said not feeling confident about tomorrow's appearance. I am socially awkward when it comes to interviews, and I have never performed in front of a live audience. What have I gotten my self into. 

I scrolled my tumblr again and saw a post that said, "DON'T LET YOUR INSECURITIES EAT YOU ALIVE" Geez thanks. I scrolled down again and saw another photo of One Direction .. which reminds me.  

"And about that One Direction dude, you should really thank him. He practically brought you to Ellen DeGeneres in a span of three days" My brother's voice echoed in my head. Why does he have to be right. 

I logged in my twitter and was baffled on how many followers I have gotten. 50,000 followers and about 2,000 tweets from random people. My stomach ached, in a good way. This was something new. But for the real agenda. 

What was I going to say to him? Oh hey thank you and btw nice hair .. ? Why am I even finding the right words to say? Being a teenager sucks. I need someone to talk to, but my brother is out with his date. 

I settled for an online chat forum with random strangers (OMEGLE). I waited until I was connected with a random stranger. 

Stranger: Hello.

The beauty of being anonymous was that you don't have to feel conscious to get straight to the point. 

Me: Do you ever feel like you aren't good enough, even if majority says that you are? 

Stranger: Yes.

Me: And that your doubts are eating you alive? 

Stranger: Yes.

Me: What do you about it?

Stranger: I put up a tough front, I guess.

Me: What happens when you do that? 

Stranger is typing .... 

I was staring at my laptop, anxiously waiting for this stranger's reply. But while I was waiting, I clicked my twitter page and started to write down my thank you message to the guy who made me an over night star.

ZAYN'S POV

Stranger: What happens when you do that?

I smirked to myself. I know exactly what happens.

Me: You lose yourself.

And it's the sad truth. I, Zayn Malik has lost Zayn Malik. Weird as it sounds, it makes perfect sense. I was never this playboy/cassanova guy, I only pretended to be one, until I became one. 

Stranger: You can always get yourself back, you know? 

I scrunched my eyebrows.

Me: How? 

Stranger: You just have to find that thing that brings you right back.

I smiled. I've been talking to strangers these days and apparently they are all some sort of genius philosophists. 

I started to type until ..

Your conversational partner has disconnected. 

"Damn." I muttered. 

 I closed my laptop and lied down on my bed staring at the ceiling. Am I happy? I thought to myself. I have amazing friends, of course that should make me happy. And my fans are beyond fantastic. But there's one person I can't seem to please. And that was me. 

You just have to find that thing that bring you right back, said the stranger. What was that thing? 

My phone buzzed meaning that a person that I follow tweeted me. I got up and checked my phone.

From: audreybooks95

Grateful and humbled. Thank you @zaynmalik1d 

I am grinning like sick maniac right now. What should I say back?!

After thinking of what to say, all my little brain could come up was ":-)".

I mentally slapped my self after hitting the reply button. Of course, I was not expecting a reply after that tweet. But still it doesn't change the fact that I am so elated right now. I can sleep peacefully tonight. 

Before going to bed I tweeted one last thing. Three words that sums up my night and I hit the tweet button as I head of to my sheets.

AUDREY'S POV

A smiley face? Seriously? I wanted to tweet back something mean like, "letters are invented to make words" or something like that, but no. God now I have this impression that they are dimwits.

I got ready for bed. I prayed to God that tomorrow would be a good day for me. I checked my twitter one last time, and saw that Zayn has tweeted something just a few minutes ago. 

"Bring me back."

 

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