We get back to our shared flat, and I run to my room. I lock the door, and I know what I have to do next.
I take a paper and pen from my drawer, and sit at staring at the paper crying.
You're right Zayn, I don't believe it. All the times you've hurt me, all the times I've locked myself in my room crying and cutting because of you.
I can't believe that I'm in this position again. Crying over how much I love you, and at the edge of taking my life once again.
I don't know what kept me going while I was in the hospital. Maybe it was the fact that I thought maybe you would pity me, and finally be with me, it was stupid and I'm not letting that happen again. I'm not letting something keep me from something like this again.
I've loved you since the XFactor Zayn, I finally gave up he hope that I would be with you, and went for Liam instead. He cares for me. But it's not enough. Im sorry Liam.
I'm sorry Zayn that I'm not good enough.
After I finish my note, I pull the razor out of its familiar hiding spot.
I press down quite hard on the blade, pressing into my skin, gliding the blade down my forearm. Then doing another on my other arm.
The blood falls down my arms quickly. Staining my shirt with red.
"Niall! Open the door now!" Zayn frantically shouts.
"Leave me alone! You don't care anyways! No one would care if I died!" My voice muffled because of my tears.
I take my IPod out and play the song that relates to me the most right now.
Time has run out for me. Everything's different and I don't know what to believe.
It's so hard. Lost in the world confusion, and I need to leave for a while. Life is so meaningless, there is nothing worth a smile.
So goodbye. I'll miss you, and I'm sorry, but this is my fate.
Everything is worthless, nobody wants me to to stay.
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long. So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me. I'm not worth any tears.
It's been the years, of abuse. Neglected to treat the disorder, that controls my youth for so long.
I'm in a fleshy tomb buried above the ground. It's no use, why should I hold on? It's been five years don't need one more.
So goodbye, life's abuse, and I'm sorry, but this is my fate.
Everything is worthless, nobody wants me to to stay.
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long. So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me. I'm not worth any tears.
Every eighteen minutes, someone dies if a suicide, every forty three seconds, somebody attempts one. If you, or anyone you know is suicidal call 1-800-784-2433.
And I'm sorry, but this is my fate. Everything is worthless, nobody wants me to to stay.
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long. So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me. I'm not worth any tears.
I climb up onto my chair, and connect the noose to the boards in my ceiling. Once I'm up, I let the chair fall. Everything goes black just as I hear my door fall to the floor. Zayn...
A/N
SO YEAH, MY HEART WAS ACHING A LOT DURING THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE THIS HAPPENED TO ME NOT MORE THAN A MONTH AGO.
IF YOU EVER FEEL SUICIDAL, PLEASE TALK TO ME. IM THERE, ALWAYS.
FACEBOOK; YASMIN VANDALE (CHES)
NIALLER JAMES HORAN
TWITTER; BANNALICIOUS
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A Love Close Near Death
Fanfiction(Caution! May be triggering. If you trigger easily I advise you to not continue reading.) Niall Horan always been the normal one out of all his friends back home, but that all changed after his XFactor audition. He believes that no one will ever lo...
