Afraid | Nikki Sixx {Remastered}

Chapter 32.

Carly's POV

I tied the tourniquet around my arm. I held onto it and then used my teeth to hold it in place. As soon as I saw the vein, I injected the blow into myself. I sighed out and let go of the tourniquet. I took the needle out of my arm and laid back in the hotel bed.

It's been 2 weeks since Vince showed me how to shoot up and I've become obsessed with it. My tolerance for blow has also gotten higher, I do it a few times a day. I haven't told Nikki, I don't know how he doesn't know, though.

I finally sat up and pulled my sleeves down. Both of my arms are covered in trackmarks, it's so ugly to look at but, not so ugly that I wanna stop. I can't stop, as soon as I'm coming down I get the shakes. I got out of bed and slipped my shoes on. I grabbed my rigs and all the other stuff I use to shoot up and put it in my bag.

I walked out of my hotel room, quickly grabbing the clothes rack and walking into the venue. I pushed the rack into the dressing room, I dropped my bag next to the clothes rack. I saw Nikki and he turned around and smiled.

"Hey, Bambi. I've missed you." He said and walked over to me.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head. I hugged him back and smiled. I never knew what safety and security felt like until Nikki wrapped his arms around me.

"I missed you more." I said as we released from our embrace.

"Aren't you hot? Why're you wearing a long sleeve shirt?" He asked.

"Ah, I have a little cold and I'm chilly." I replied.

I feel bad for lying to him, but I know he wouldn't like that I'm shooting up, which is stupid because he shoots up all the time and he puts worse stuff in his body.

"Aw, I hope you feel better, angel." He said.

I smiled and kissed his lips quickly. "I gotta use the bathroom, I'll be right back." I said.

I walked out of the dressing and towards the bathroom. I walked in and did my business, washing my hands and then fixing any smeared makeup. I readjusted my clothes and pulled my sleeves down again.

I walked back to the dressing room and I saw Nikki going through my bag. My eyes went wide. "W-What are you doing?" I asked and walked over to him.

"Getting some blow, I don't have any right now..." He trailed off when he pulled out my rigs.

He pulled out my tourniquet, spoon, lighter and stood up straight. "What the fuck is this?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my heartbeat picking up.

"You know what the fuck I mean, you're shooting up?!" He yelled.

I flinched when he yelled and breathed out. "Y-Yeah, I am." I replied.

"What the hell, Carly?!" He yelled. "Why would you do this shit!?" He continued yelling.

"Don't yell at me." I said quietly.

"You're smarter than this! How long have you been doing this?!" He yelled.

"Only a few days." I replied quietly.

He threw my stuff down and grabbed my arm. "Only a few days?" He asked.

"Get off!" I exclaimed.

He pulled my sleeve up and then grabbed my other arm and lifted that sleeve up. He laughed when he saw all the trackmarks.

"Only a few days?!" He yelled. "You're such a fucking liar!" He yelled.

I ripped my arms away. "You shoot up too!" I exclaimed.

"We're not talking about me, we're talking about you! Why would you do this shit?!" He yelled.

"Stop yelling at me!" I exclaimed as tears filled my eyes.

"Get away from me!" He yelled and walked over to his clothes.

"You don't mean that." I said. "I can't believe this, you do this and you shoot up worse stuff than me!" I exclaimed.

"I said, get the fuck away from me!!" He yelled louder than any of the other times.

"Hypocrite." I said quietly.

I grabbed my stuff on the floor and put it back in my bag. I put my bag over my shoulder and walked out of the room. I felt tears burn my eyes.

Fucking hypocrite, I knew he'd be mad. I knew he would break me again, I'm so tired of this. I should've left when I had the chance. I shouldn't have stayed, now I'm romantically involved with him, my heart is in this now. I can't just leave and never look back.

I walked back to my hotel room, but before that I picked up 2 bottles of vodka. I walked back into my room and slammed the door shut. I sat down on my bed and opened up the vodka. I skipped the shot glasses and just took a long swig of it.

I took the bottle away from my lips and hissed as the liquor went down my throat, I'm not used to this kind of alcohol but, I want to get fucked up fast. I just want to forget about Nikki yelling at me.

(A/N: Heads up, something really, really big is gonna happen in this story! So, keep a look out for that! Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Please vote, it's greatly appreciated! Feedback is always welcome & encouraged! Okay bye🧸)