Afraid | Nikki Sixx {Remastered}

Chapter 17.

Carly's POV

"So, you aren't even interested in Tommy?" Nikki asked after he did a line. I giggled and shook my head. "Why did I see you making out with him at the bar, then?" He asked.

"I only did the to make you jealous, Tommy was in on it, too," I replied.

"Wow!" Nikki exclaimed with a laugh. "You just met us not too long ago and already got Vince and Tommy against me." He said with a chuckle.

I smiled and did a line. "Hey, I have a question but, I don't want you to get mad at me," I said.

"I won't get mad, Bambi. What is it?" He asked.

"Well, why are you still doing smack? I heard from the other guys that you almost died a few years back, shouldn't that be enough to stop?" I asked.

He sighed. "It should be, but I can't help it..." He said. "Being on smack makes me feel normal, when I'm off smack, all I think about is how fucked up my childhood was, I think about my Dad and why he wouldn't talk to me, I think about my Mom and why she never cared about me, and don't even get me started on my asshole stepfathers." He said and chuckled sadly. "I got beaten by so many of them so many times." He said quietly, almost as if he was ashamed.

"Oh my gosh, what did your Mom do when they hurt you?" I asked.

"That's the sad part, she did nothing. Absolutely nothing." He replied.

I frowned. "I'm so sorry, Nikki. Nobody deserves to go through that." I said.

He shook his head. "I'm fine. Really." He said and flashed me a smile but, I could tell it was fake.

"Don't fake smile at me, I'm an expert on fake smiles and I know one when I see it," I said.

He laughed softly. "I just poured my heart out, it's your turn." He said, changing the subject.

I've noticed that anytime he opens up even a little, he feels uncomfortable. I can see it on his face, it makes him uneasy. It looks like he regrets it as soon as the words leave his lips. I know why he's so mean, that's all anyone has ever been to him, it's all he knows. I wish he would let me in more, I want to know him, the real him. The Nikki that he hides away from everyone because he's scared of what people will think.

"Well, on the topic of Fathers," I started with a small laugh. "He's an alcoholic and most of my life he hasn't been a part of it, he comes and gets me excited, he tells me that things will change and they never do. They only get worse." I said. I looked down at my hands. "He's not a nice man when he gets drunk, it's scary to me," I said quietly.

Nikki held one of my hands. "You can let it out, babe. I don't judge." He said.

I smiled a little. "My home life was bad after my parents split up when I was a little kid, my Mom and I moved back into my Grandmothers and it was awful. My grandfather passed when I was 5, so I don't remember much of him. One memory that I remember vividly is when he held a knife to my Grandmother right in front of me." I said.

I finally looked up at Nikki and his face, he looks shocked. "Oh my god, what??" He asked.

"Yeah, and I cried and begged him not to hurt her. He only told me to get away from him. The police came and that's all I remember about my Grandfather." I said.

Nikki frowned. "That's just horrible. I'm so sorry." He said.

I forced a smile. "It's okay, really. It was years ago." I said.

"But, I can see the look on your face that it's still fresh in your mind." He said. "Have you ever gone to therapy for the trauma you went through as a kid?" He asked.

"I don't have trauma," I said and laughed. I soon stopped laughing when I realized Nikki was being serious. "Oh, you're serious?" I asked.

He nodded. "That's a traumatic childhood, babe." He said. "Maybe you should consider therapy, but until then, I'm here to listen to anything you have to say." He said.

I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Nikki," I said.

"Don't mention it." He said and smiled.

I laid back in my chair, right now we're in a plane to the next city. Usually, Nikki is with Tommy while we're flying but, he stayed by my side. It's nice, I love this side of Nikki. I hate how rare it is, he's actually a very caring person, it's just hard to see that side of him.

"So, how late are we staying out tonight?" I asked with a small laugh.

"Actually, I was going to stay in, would you care to join me?" He asked.

My face lit up. "It's just going to be the 2 of us?" I asked.

He smiled and kissed me quickly. "Yep, just us, pretty lady." He replied. "I really love talking to you, you're the first person I've ever opened up to and it's actually really refreshing." He said. "I wanna keep talking to you, all night long." He added on.

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. He chuckled and pulled me into his lap. I closed my eyes and smiled, just enjoying being this close to Nikki. God, I really like him. I adore him, I never want this night to end. I'm so excited to stay in with him and just enjoy his company. He's so funny and caring, whenever he's like this, I can never wipe the smile off my face. He makes me truly happy. It's refreshing being this happy, being this happy has made me realize that most of my life, I haven't been happy.

"You make me so happy, truly happy," I said, leaning back and looking at him.

He smiled. "Good, because you make me truly happy, Bambi." He said.

(A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Please vote, it's greatly appreciated! Feedback is always welcome & encouraged! Okay bye!)