A Savior's Worth (Book #3)

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Eldon found Elouise sitting inside the small cave. She had Ashton's rapier in her lap and trailed her finger up and down the slender blade.

Eldon leaned against the stone wall and folded his arms across his chest.

"Do you think it would be strange if we had this sharpened and I used it as my own?" she asked him without glancing up.

"No," he plainly responded. "It wouldn't be strange."

Elouise set the sword aside and met his eyes, her expression unreadable. "You should see your family in Ilsen." Her tone didn't leave any room for arguments.

Still, Eldon shook his head. "We should just get back home and deal with everythin' there."

"I think it would be good for you."

Eldon furrowed his eyebrows. "Why do ya say that?"

For a bit, she just stared at the ground, the blankness on her face slowly shifting to concern. Then she stood. "I cannot quit thinking about what happened. I... I learned something... quite massive about myself." She paused, facing him.

"I saw how simple it was... for all of you to fight. Then there I was, struggling to even pick up a weapon." Her eyes darted to the sword. "It was not necessary for me to use a sword or knife. I have my own weapons."

"But you don't wanna depend on yer magic," Eldon reasoned. "That's why we started our trainin'—"

"No, you do not understand!"

"What don't I understand?"

"I could not fight them. And it was not because I did not want to use my magic. It is because I could not bring myself to hurt them—to kill them."

"That's just 'cause that ain't who you are—" he stopped when she groaned and turned away. Then he sighed. "Ellie, you don't gotta feel bad 'bout that. Yer a good person. Yer the best I know—"

"And I truly wish that I was not."

Eldon blinked. "What?"

She stepped closer to him, and he could see the water lining her lower lids.

"How am I supposed to protect my kingdom and my people if I could not even protect Noemi? How am I supposed to be the savior if I cannot stop them?"

Eldon pulled himself away from the wall and crossed the remaining distance between them. He took her hands into his and ignored the subtle tug she did.

"I am not capable of this role," she whispered, lowering her gaze to the ground. "I'm afraid. I am always afraid. I am weak."

"No." He rubbed her knuckles with his thumbs. "Yer not weak, Ellie."

Elouise yanked her hands free and pointed in Henry's direction. Eldon glanced over, seeing the rippled image of his friend through the waterfall.

"I am weak, Eldon," Elouise started. "Godwin was able to teleport all of us, and I am not even sure if I can teleport from here to my home..."

"That don't mean yer weak, Ellie," Eldon insisted. "You just gotta practice more."

"But what if I do not get any better? Or... or if it is too late? No, don't," she quickly added when he opened his mouth. "I know what you are going to say, and I do not want to hear it. This is my problem to bear, and I shall bear it alone." She pushed past him, leaving him at a loss for words.

Eldon turned, mentally scolding himself for not calling out to her. Then she suddenly stopped and peered back at him. The increasing tears in her eyes had disappeared, but her devastation remained.