Fifty Shades Of Us.

Chapter Nineteen.

 Chapter Nineteen.

            The burning water from the showerhead overtook our bodies, searing our skin ever so slightly as he had my hands pinned above my head again. His eyes were searching mine, as if he were trying to make sure he really wanted to do this. We haven’t had sex in almost a month and although I had missed it beyond belief, I was somewhat nervous that it wouldn’t be like it used to be after everything that happened.

            “What’s wrong?” I asked.

            His eyes just stared at me as little droplets of water fell from his hair and onto his bare chest, trickling down his body until they fled off onto the floor of the shower. I was just praying he wasn’t having second guesses about doing this because I was more than ready. If he backed away now I don’t know how I’d control myself.

            “I just love you so much.” He breathed out, his breath coming out all at once.

            “I love you too.” I replied with a smile.

            Bringing his lips down to my neck, he gently sunk his teeth into the skin above my collarbone and sucked lightly. I can’t tell anyone how he makes me feel because I don’t even know myself. Whenever he does stuff like this my whole mind literally goes blank and I’m left exactly like this, staring off into space and trying to think of something rational to say at the moment.

            “Feel good?” He murmured.

            “Mhmmm…” I hummed, a small moan coming out afterwards.

            He then picked me up so I was straddling him and headed over towards the bench so he could sit down onto it, allowing me to straddle him. This all felt so different with the water pouring onto us and I almost slipped on the wet bench once my knees landed onto it but Justin’s hands came around my waist to catch me.

            “Careful.” He chuckled. “Don’t get hurt.”

            “I’m not babe.”

            Moving my hand down his chest, I rubbed in horizontal lines across his happy trail, which made him suck in a huge breath. I know he hasn’t released his sexual frustration in what seems like forever so now that it’s actually happening I can’t imagine how he must feel. I know that what happened the other night made me crave it even more so I was hoping this would do the same to him.

            As he watched me move my fingertips across him he took the opportunity and trailed his down my stomach, stopping once he reached the scars. I wish he could forget about them for just a couple more minutes. I just wanted to be able to be with him in this moment and forget about how ugly I looked with them.

            “It’s almost like a memory.” He whispered quietly, his voice barely audible over the water. “You know? Like she’s always going to be a part of you.”

            I glanced down at them and never thought about them that way until now. I suppose he’s right and all. It sort of is like she’d always have her mark on me and I would never ever forget her I was sure of that. I was actually kind of grateful for them right now for the first time in forever.

            “Yeah…” I said. “Kinda.”

            Moving my hands so they were covering them, I looked away for a brief second but felt his fingertips grasp my chin so he could turn me to look at him.