Michael Clifford Preferences: #39 He Finds Out
*TRIGGER WARNING: EATING DISORDER*
"Have you called anyone to pick you up yet sweetheart?" The nurse walks into the room you're in with a cup of water. "Are you sure I can't drive myself? I feel a lot better now." She shakes her head. "I'm sorry hon. In your condition we have to release you to someone. We don't want you passing out when you're driving." You sigh and take your phone out. "I'll call my boyfriend." "Okay. While you wait go ahead and lay back, relax." You rest your head on the pillow and scroll through your phone to find Michael's number, calling him once you find it. After 4 rings you hear Michael's voice on the other end. "Hey babe." "Hi. Are you busy?" Hoping he says yes so he doesn't have to come get you. "No. I'm just at your apartment. Why?" You sigh into the phone and run your fingers through your hair. "I had to go to the hospital..." "Oh my god. Are you okay? What happened?" You can hear Michael scrambling on the other end. "I don't want to talk about it right now. Can you come get me please? They won't let me leave without someone else." "Okay. I'm on my way." You hang up the phone and rub your temple to lessen the pain of your headache. You never thought things would get this bad. You thought you had everything under control, but obviously not.
About 20 minutes later there's a knock on the door. You sit up and half smile as you see the nurse walk in with Michael. His face is more pale than usual and he instantly wraps his arms around you. "What happened?" You look down at your hands and shake your head. "Okay sweetheart, you need to remember to eat lightly when you first get home to get your body used to food again, keep hydrated, and rest." The nurse says. "Easier said than done." You say to yourself in your head. "Okay." You respond. She gives you a clipboard with papers to sign before you could leave. "Make sure she eats a healthy meal there Mr. Boyfriend." She says to Michael who is still clueless. "Oh, okay." He nods his head. You hand the nurse the clipboard. "Okay, all set hon. If you pass out again you need to come back." Michael turns his head to you, but you can't make any eye contact with him. "I will." You say quietly, getting down from the bed and walking out of the room with Michael guiding you since you felt a little light headed after walking for a few seconds.
Once you get in the car, Michael doesn't force any conversation. You had no idea if he had put two and two together, or if he still had no idea. When you get to the apartment Michael helps you up the stairs and onto the couch. He sits next to you and takes your hand in his. "What happened?" Michael asks. You sigh, blinking back tears. "I'm just so unhappy with myself. You know that I've never been happy with my appearance Mikey. I started to notice more and more flaws with my body over the past few months and I started eating less until I got down to just a simple cracker a day, and I went running with Luke, and went to the gym with Calum and Ashton when they would go, which lead to working out three times a day... I went to the gym by myself this morning and I was on the trend mill for about an hour and a half, and I just remember getting really lightheaded, then people hovering over me trying to fan me." "How long has this been going on?" He asks. "About 4 months. I haven't eaten a real meal in about 3 months." You sigh, crying now. "You know that I think you're perfect." You roll your eyes and shake your head. "Everyone thinks that showering someone who has an eating disorder is going to make them feel better or make them stop. I've had a damn eating disorder since I was sixteen and it's always been there in the back of my mind, haunting me whenever I would eat anything. This isn't just going to go away because you tell me I'm beautiful the way I am or because you tell me you love me." Michael sighs and kisses your hand. "Then what do you want me to do?" He asks. "There isn't much you can do for me Michael. I just need you to support me. Understand that I'm not going to be 100% all the time." He nods his head and brings you into his arms. "Okay. But I will make sure that you're eating (Y/n). I don't want another call saying you are in the hospital."
"Don't you get it?!" You push through his arms and sit up, a bit too quickly. "Get what?" Michael asks. "You can't force me to eat! I have body dysmorphia! I see myself differently than everyone else does! It's in my head and I can't just shut it off and on like a light switch Michael! God it's just like when my mom found out." You start to sob. Michael sits there for a second, not knowing what to do. Could you blame him? "I just want to help you. I don't know how to handle this..." You wipe the tears from your eyes. "It's been 4 years and I still don't know how to handle it." Michael gets up and kneels down in front of your legs, resting his hands on your thighs. "Does talking about it help?" He asks. You shrug. "Sometimes. But I need you to be supportive of me. Don't tell me that I'm being dramatic, or I'm being difficult, let me do things on my own. And please, don't force me to do eat. That's the last thing I need. I dealt with that for too long back home." Michael nods his head. "Okay. I'll try. I at least want to help if you're feeling down for any reason. But I won't force it." You smile at him and lean down to kiss his forehead. "Thank you Michael. Can you make me some toast?" Michael stands up and smiles. "Sure. I want a hug first." You stand up slowly to avoid getting lightheaded again and wrap your arms around Michael.
*I hope this was good. I didn't want to make it like every other eating disorder pref. Thank you ChemicalDreams for requesting this :) 4 more days until my 1D/5SOS concert!!!!! :D*
