Chapter 16

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Rami's POV.

''I was.. Gonna be a father?.. What do you mean?'' I let go of her and sit back up. ''I'm so sorry I should've told you but that day in the hospital when the doctor told me I just- it was the last drip and I didn't want to hurt you any more than I already had'' she sits back up too, with her legs crossed, facing me. She's fiddling with her hands and she's clearly uncomfortable. ''but what do you mean baby?''. She lets out a deep sigh and I can tell she's struggling with whatever it is she wants to say next. I lay my hands on her, hoping she quits fiddling and will look at me. A father? Holy shit. I can't help but smile a little by the idea of that.

''I- I found out I was pregnant just before I go bt into the plane to Amsterdam after Christmas and I wanted to tell you when we met a few days after but

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''I- I found out I was pregnant just before I go bt into the plane to Amsterdam after Christmas and I wanted to tell you when we met a few days after but.. '' She looks at me with guilt in her eyes ''but I never got the chance.'' .. I can't believe she.. I..  I bent over and hug her. ''And after that night in the hospital they made an ultrasound and. And. And he just wasn't there anymore I lost my little muffin'' the moment she starts crying, I start too. She was pregnant from my child and the happiness I felt earlier gets replaced with sadness. She lost a her baby and had to deal with that all alone.

''Baby I'm so sorry you had to get through that alone – I should've showed you that you could've told me anything''. When she calms down a bit she eventually says ''I was scared because I thought you- you have such a great career and I wasn't sure if you-''. I let go of her and take her cheeks into my hands, staring into my eyes. ''Baby – I'd love to have children. Better yet there's no-one else I'd rather have children with than with you.''  Tears still swirl down my cheek. Because I missed her so bad. Because she had to go through this alone. Because we both lost our peanut. Because I was gonna be a father. Because I regret ever walking away.

''R.. Really?'' she asks with an amazed look in her eyes. ''Baby look at me- I'm 37 and I'm not getting younger. I always wanted children so bad''. I wrap my arms around her once again and pull her into my lap. ''Baby I'm so sorry- for everything. I promise you I'll never leave your side anymore. I regret walking away so much. I – I haven't stopped thinking about you one moment and with each day away from you – I. It was the hardest thing I've ever done''.

Her crying became less and until she was calm enough I just held her in my arms. When she picked up her normal pace of breathing she says ''I'm sorry too. For everything.. Can we just.. I love you so much.''. I get what she's getting at. ''I'll be here baby. We're good. How could we not be? You're the love of my life''. I smile at her and sweetly peck her lips. In stead of pulling away we stay like that for a while and our kiss gets more passionate. Her hand slides down my abs, going to my belt but we both know it's not a good idea. ''Baby you know I love making love to you but-'' .. with a red flush on her cheeks she admits ''tonight may not be the best timing'' and she giggles a softly.

I jump up. ''wait here'' I tell her. ''Is it ok if I take a quick shower in stead?''. I nod at her, ''I'll be back with you in 5 minutes''

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