Chapter 15

122 2 1
                                    

Warnings: Some swearing/depression

Wordcount: + 3,5k

..............

It's been about 6 weeks since I last heard from her.. Well, she texted a few times, to congratulate me on all the wins on the awardseason this far. That must mean she followed it. That's a good thing right?

I'm kind of disappointed because I took home a lot of awards the past month and I wouldn't want to share it with anyone but her. Now I had no-one to share it with, because I'd rather share it with no-one than with someone else than her.

I've written a few letters but threw them in the fireplace. My thumb has hovered above the call button a thousand times. And I wrote tons of text messages to her but ended up deleting them all in the end. I booked a ticket to Amsterdam once and when I stood in front of her door.. I just stood there for a couple of minutes but I couldn't bring myself to ring that doorbell.

There were times I wanted to text her and when I opened our conversation, I could see she was typing by the bubbles appearing. I waited expectantly. But they always ended up disappearing again with out received an actual message. I've sent flowers a few times.. But I've never heard anything back about it. I can't seem to let her go, as much as she wants me to.

 I can't seem to let her go, as much as she wants me to

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I let out a deep sigh. I'm in my hotel room waiting for my stylist to bring my suit. Tonight are the BAFTA's and I'm pretty nervous. Not only because I'm nominated, but also because I'll see Amy again. She has been nominated too. I wonder how she's been. What if she brings another man? What if she acts like she doesn't know me? What if she'll fight with me? Well I actually I want that most than the other options because at least I'll get to interact with her again. Will it be awkward when I get to see her? Fuck. I'm pacing around, thinking about all the possible scenario's.

Suddenly someone knocks on the door. My heart starts beating faster. What if it's Amy? Quickly I look into the mirror to see how I look. When I open the door I see it's my stylist. ''Oh.. hey'' I say, expressing my disappointment. ''Well that's a nice welcome'' she laughs. ''I'm sorry I thought you were someone else''. I step aside for her to enter my room and when I close the door behind her, she asks worryingly ''still haven't heard anything from her, huh?''. I shake my head. She lays her hand on my shoulder ''you'll see her tonight- you'll get your chance then'' she lovingly says. I nod. She's right. I have to stay optimistic.

When I have my suit on and my hair is fixed, I feel really confident. I'm wearing an all white suit with a black blouse and bow-tie. I have to look my best for her. I really hope I get a chance to talk to her.

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