Chapter 71: Panic

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There are still like 10 chapters left of book 1 hah

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Zoe's POV


Art is my first class today, which suits me fine as I'm always not in the mood for anything as tricky as maths in the morning anyway. 
And I'll see Zayn - if he's in school today that is, I'm not sure.

I pick out a seat in the back where we usually sit, and pull out the chair as I place my bag on the spot I'm holding for Zayn if he decides to show up.

We start the lesson, my teacher reminding us that we have moved on from architecture to sculptures and old statues now, and she opens one of her brightly colored PowerPoint slides, showing us the 5 statues we are working with today.

Three of the sculptures are marble statues of realistic looking men, with nicely sculptured muscles and powerful yet graceful facial expressions, and the final two are more abstract and modern and doesn't really look like anything to me.

5 minutes into the lesson, Zayn walks through the door, his tired looking eyes quickly scanning the room, stopping at me.

- "Good morning, Zayn," Ms Cole says sounding a little annoyed, raising her dark eyebrows that look like they're literally painted on, before looking down at her notes in front of her, organizing them before she looks up again. 

He looks really bad boy today, almost dressed all in black. Boots, jeans and some T-shirt with print under his leather jacket, complimenting his jet black hair, and the dark stubble sprinkling his strong jaw and chin.

He sits down next to me while my teacher starts talking statues again, and gives my hand a little squeeze under the table. His is for once sort of cold, but it's also extremely chilly today.

- "Hey," He whispers quietly enough for anyone to hear, seeming happy to see me despite the dark circles under his eyes. 

- "Hey," I whisper back as he takes his jacket off and sits back in his chair.
He smells a bit like alcohol though. Vodka or something.
- "Have you been drinking?" I whisper, as he gives me a lazy glance.

- "What? No." he says a bit too loud, making pretty much the whole class turn their heads. He doesn't really notice though. 

I wait to speak again, before everyone has averted their eyes from us.
- "Are you okay?" I ask stupidly, and he gives a little smirk.

- "I'm fine, Zoe," he whispers back, of course.

Clearly you aren't fine if you have to drink in order to go to school.

The class goes on, as Ms Cole gives us a work sheet to try and get us to use some of the terms we've learned so far, and try and write them on the small picture of each sculpture and make a quick analysis. 

We're allowed to work in pairs, so Zayn quickly scribbles some of the things down that we remember were relevant, his now warm hand grasping mine under the table the whole time.

- "I need to speak to you after class," he whispers, sitting back in his chair again, as Ms. Cole starts a new PowerPoint slide.

I glance at him, but he has his eyes fixed on the whiteboard, pressing the end of his pencil to his bottom lip.


**


Zayn's POV


- "Good, for next time you read page 39 in the textbook okay?" Ms. Cole says over the noise of everybody getting up from the chairs.
Yeah yeah.

- "You wanted to talk?" Zoe asks, pulling a hand through her brown hair, before she pushes her chair in and walks out along side me. 

- "Yeah," I say, as I let her walk in front of me out the door, once again reminding myself what a fucking coward I am 

- "By the way," she turns around, a frown on her face but a sweet smile on her lips. "Yesterday right? I  had the most awkward conversation with my mum," she rolls her eyes and grins contagiously.

- "Yeah?" I  can't help but chuckle as she leans in to me as we have gotten away from the swarm of people, and I allow myself to give her a hug and a quick kiss. "About that morning or..? Did you get in trouble?" I ask.

- "No, that's the weirdest part. She didn't mention that at all," she smiles again when I let my fingers lace through hers, enjoying the feeling of out skin touching. "She just kept going on about stuff like - 'I trust that you're making good decisions'. Like, yeah he knows what a condom is," She shakes her head and looks at me as I can't help but grin as well even though this just makes me feel even more guilty. 

- "You said that?" I ask, and she grins with me.

- "No of course not, but you know. That sort of thing. And then she asked if you moved out and stuff,"
She adds and cringes slightly.

- "So she hates me less now?"  I ask, leaning in to her as her hands play with the zipper of my jacket before lightly tugging on the hems.

- "Don't count on it," she answers before mouths melt together, and she wraps her arms gently around my waist under my jacket.
She's making this so hard for me.

- "Okay Zoe?" I say, her brows furrowing as I pull away and lick my lips before speaking again. "Uhm, don't freak out, seriously," I hesitate, and she bites her lip. "You know the other day when we had sex right? ..The condom broke," she frowns. "Like when I took it off, it was empty, like it must have ripped or I-" 

She takes a step back, her lips parting.
Fuck.

- "Say something," I say, as her eyes look everywhere but me as I pull my hand through my hair, well knowing I'm making a right mess out of it. 

- "But.. what? How?" she finally looks at me, slight panic in her eyes. 

- "How? I mean, it was dark and- I must have ripped it when I opened the packet. I don't know, condoms break sometimes I guess." I mumble, probably making no sense. 


She takes it in, nodding her head, but the frown stays on.
- "What- and you didn't think of telling me this?" she asks squinting her eyes slightly. 

- "I didn't wanna ruin the moment.." I say realizing just how fucking lame that is as soon as the words leave my mouth. But it's the truth. 

She almost laughs. 
- "Are you serious?" she hisses, but to be honest we are probably both exaggerating this. It probably nothing. 

- "Relax Zoe. It's probably nothing," I say my thoughts out loud even though they don't seem to calm Zoe down one bit.

- "Zayn, what if I'm pregnant..?" her voice is calmer again, her gorgeous eyes softer, but my stomach still turns at that word. 

- "You're not. Don't say that," I mutter mostly to myself as I remember that we should probably head to class. "Ok we should go. I'll buy you a test yeah?" 

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