Chapter 85: Push

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And sorry for being so slow at writing, but I feel like as we are coming closer to the end of the story, everything I write right now has to be perfect because it's so importanttt

xx

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I lit a cigarette as I wait for Zoe outside, leaning against the bench set behind me. It's not so cold right now, for a November day anyway, but I still can't help but feel cold or empty in some sort of way, from the lack of drugs in my system.

Speaking of drugs, I spot Jason's dirty blond hair and navy blue jacket through the glass door, walking towards it. Noel and Marc walks behind him like he's some sort of their leader.
Shit.

The boys and I almost never use this back entrance after school - only when they want a quick joint or cig or something between classes, so why today.


I look to my right to where the building ends, wanting to flee, but I would have to make it 30 feet to turn around the corner, and I wouldn't be able to make it to my car either. And anyway I still have to meet up with Zoe who could be here any minute.

I take another drag of the cigarette as I get eye contact with Jason, and there's something about the way his expression changes when he sees me.

I don't have time for this. And fuck I'm so not in the mood for this.

He takes a minute to open his mouth as he stops 2 meters away from me.

- "There's something missing from my room," he says. "Got anything to say?"

Going straight to business apparently.

- "What are u talking about?" I squint lazily while taking another very deep drag of my cigarette, trying to relax to the feeling of the smoke filling my lungs, but it's not calming enough and the adrenaline is starting to bubble in my veins. He needs to fucking chill.

- "Why go behind my back like that, yeah?" he comes closer. It's like he seriously wants a fight, right here right now. I'm starting to feel like maybe I do too.

- "Chill mate, just taking what's mine," I try and sound relaxed.

- "And with Jade?" he adds.

I can't help but huff. Half of me can't believe he is that mad about this, and the other half just wants to rip his fucking head off. "Well you can't trust her anyway, she's the one who told me," he says.

Cunt.

I glare at him now, not sure if he's telling the truth or lying just to make me look dumb. It's probably working. 

On another note, does it even matter though? She can betray me all she wants, at least it shows she's not obsessed with me still I guess. 

- "Okay?" I huff again and look down as I throw my cigarette to the ground, crushing it under my shoe, trying to hide my annoyance. 

- "Yeah I don't appreciate friends trying to go behind my back like that," he's all up in my face now, his green eyes fuming and red. He probably smoked a joint in the break. "So, got something to say to me?" 

Is he asking for an apology? He must be way high. 

- "No, don't think so," I say and bite my lip, throwing a glance at Noel behind him to the left. He has a cigarette in his hand, looking at me and shaking his head slightly. 

- "Yeah?" he moves even closer somehow, and sure enough I smell a hint of weed. 

-  "Relax mate," I say, halfway trying to calm him down - or maybe to aggravate him even more.

I put a hand on his chest to make him take a step back as he doesn't obey, while I look in the direction of the door. Zoe isn't here yet. Thank fucking God. 

He stumbles back a bit. Bad idea. 

- "Oh you're waiting for you girlfriend, yeah?" he says, getting way too close for my liking again, my heart rate quickly starting to go up as he mentions her. 

I say nothing, I just bore my eyes into his. I always thought his green eyes were his nicest trait, but now the sight of them make me sick along with his devious smirk. 

"You know, I can tell her, any moment," he talks slowly, making sure that I know that he knows that it could ruin everything for me. "Doesn't she deserve to know the real you?" he continues.

I swallow hard, clenching my fists as I try to calm myself down. Words cannot describe how much I want to just throw him to the ground. My heart is racing. 

He almost outed me in front of her yesterday, so yes I know dares tell her. He doesn't give a shit anymore. It's a wonder she didn't catch on.

- "Get out of my face," I say, giving him another push, trying to get a bit of my anger out that way. 

- "Why do you even care so much, yeah? Thought you said she was just another girl," he spits when he speaks this time, which for whatever reason sets me off completely so I hardly hear what he says. 

- "Thought I told you to get out of my face!" I push him for the third time, much harder but not hard enough.

He grunts and stumbles back, hitting and smashing an empty glass bottle against the brick wall with his foot. He doesn't even seem to notice, he is too pissed off.

I look past Jason as I take a step towards him, and get a glimpse of Zoe's innocent looking face through the glass door, as Jason pushes me with the same amount of force that I just did.

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I was gonna make this way longer, but it's late already so I'm gonna continue writing tomorrow :) 

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