Chapter 44: Truth

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Chapter 34: Apartment search is back up! (It dissapeared)

About the name Jawaad: "It's An Arabic name and we Arabs say jawaad but Pakistanis say javaad they just pronounce it that way but it's the same name" - idubaidirection (thanks I had no idea :P)
So yea, Jawaad, Javaad, Javadd, whatever it's all the same :*
And Zayn's real cousin is called Jawaad - spelled Jawaad soooo.
(Some of you have been saying "I'm arab too" but I'm not I was just quoting someone)


I love that so many of you comment on things ahh!! <33
though here I am again - updating in the middle of the night when I have school tomorrow.. this is not good for me oh god... but it's like I can write at day :S
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I have had my phone turned off since I confronted him at school, since I have no intention talking to him - right now at least - so I know who it is immediately when the doorbell rings.


I hurry downstairs to the door - not because I'm happy that he's here, but because I don't want my parents to let him in. Though my mum is in the sofa as I make it downstairs, so this could be awkward.


I slowly open the door so that only half of my body is visible. It's Zayn of course. He looks nervous, fiddling with his fingers. 
- "Can I come in?" he asks carefully. No?


- "I don't wanna talk, go away" I say, hoping my mum can't hear it. I don't want her or anybody else to know anything about this. I close the door again carefully and turn around. 
The doorbell rings again. Of course.


- "Who is that?" my mum asks through the living room. He rings the doorbell again. Dammit.


I open the door wide, avoiding his eyes. 
- "Okay come in," I say even though it's probably the last thing I want right now, not bothering to hide my annoyance.


I walk to my room with Zayn two steps behind me, with a nervous knot in my stomach. When we reach my room, I sit down on my bed and Zayn follows and sits down on the edge. He looks more calm now when it's a bit harder for me to throw him out now  when I've let him inside.


He runs his hand through his raven hair, before talking. 
- "I spoke to Jade today," he says and pauses to get me to look at him while he speaks. I do. "I know she sent you that tape or whatever," he smirks down at his hands, either because he finds it funny or because the air is thick with awkwardness. "Anyway I'm sorry you had to see that,".


The memory of the video of them together, enters my head for the hundredth time today and I honestly don't know whether to murder him or cry.


- "That tape is old. From before I knew you." he shakes his head. "she was just.. I don't know.. having a laugh out of rubbing it in your face I suppose.. I.." his eyes find mine again, begging for me to believe him. 


That possibility had crossed my mind but I just thought that it wouldn't be very likely since he already lied so much. I'm not convinced.


- "I swear it!" he says, but I'm not having any of it.
"Besides she has probably posted in online a long time ago, who knows," I'm not sure if it's meant as a joke or not, anyway none of us laughs. 

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