chapter eighteen
Liam’s POV
Do you know how hard it is to walk the hallways of school and feel criticized and judged? You think it would be easy for me since I had to deal with Harry’s bullying for all my high school life or you’d think it would be easy for me since I’m blind. But nope I don’t you ever get used to that feeling. At least I haven’t and I’ve had to deal with it for quite a while. I don’t know how the rumor got out that I slept with Zayn. If I didn’t tell it would’ve had to been Zayn… and that kind of hurts because I didn’t think that our intimate moment meant zero shit to him. I didn’t know that what our intimate moment meant to him was equivalent to the other times he’s slept with other girls at parties and told the whole entire school. Because it’s not an understatement when I say the whole entire school knows. I walk through the halls and I literally know that after all their eyes shift to me their conversations instanously turn to the rumor. I’m not saying this to be narcissistic and that they always talk about me when I walk through the halls but I legitimately feel like that’s what happens. But then again I wouldn’t know because I can’t see hah…
It’s been a couple of weeks since the rumor that wasn’t really a rumor and its beginning to die down faster than I thought it would. They usually only last a week for other girls who sleep with him, but this one lasted longer because he slept with ‘blind boy who probably had never gotten laid in his life.’ I would’ve thought that it also lasted longer because I thought it was his first time doing it with another boy but apparently Zayn had slept with countless of other amounts of boys. I’m not surprised considering how talented he was, but in the moment I kind of thought I was his first… Oh well… I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up anyway.
It was currently 5:45PM and Liam was waiting for Zayn to show up at his house. Zayn had texted him telling him that he was going to his house with some take-out Chinese food and a movie he had rented. Liam agreed and he didn’t mind the fact that they would watch a movie because he still enjoyed movies even if all that he could do was hear it, he just wanted to enjoy Zayn’s company since this was his ‘apology’ for what happened at school. Liam honestly didn’t mind the fact that the rumor spilled around, he only cared that Niall wouldn’t talk to him the other people he didn’t mind. But, after all he wasn’t going to let Zayn off the hook so easily. He would probably put up a show about how much hate and how hurt he was just to get some cuddles and some kisses and some hugs and just all the pity he could get from his lover. But after all Liam legitimately didn’t care about others, that was one of the few things that being blind taught him, it taught him that fuck other people and fuck what they think.
Zayn took the key from under the little gnome in the steps of the front porch and opened the door. “Liam I’m here with no flowers and no chocolate, but with my outmost sincerest apology.”
Liam was sitting on the couch near the door and looked up at where he thought Zayn was and just looked back into nowhere to make it clear that he was ‘angry.’
“I know you’re mad.”
“You have no idea.” Liam replied hoping he sounded as upset as possible.
“I know, but hey I have Chinese food…” Zayn set the take out on the coffee table across the aging sofa. Zayn remembered Liam’s mom’s money problems that begun because of all of Liam’s medical bills. Zayn looked at the beat up coffee table and at the box sized TV.
No response from Liam.
“Do you have a DVD?” Zayn wondered out loud thinking about how they would watch the movie.
After a while Liam responded in his most monotonous tone that his mom probably has it on top of the little antenna TV.
At this point Zayn felt like the blind one. How did he not see it there? Zayn got up and put the movie in it was Stuck in Love. Zayn felt like a romcom would do the trick to fix their problem.
The movie begun and there was no talking. Zayn just handed Liam the box of takeout and Zayn ate. There was a lot of space between them at first, but by the middle of the movie Liam couldn’t take feeling more loneliness after all of that lonely week at school, so he scooted closer to Zayn. A couple of seconds later which felt like minutes for both boys, Zayn slowly wrapped his arm around Liam and pulled him towards him. Liam reflexively and almost by natural instinct dug his head into Zayn’s chest. He was bored of the movie; he couldn’t see shit so he would rather be wrapped in Zayn’s arm smelling all of Zayn’s scent.
“I’m sorry.” Zayn said into Liam’s hair.
Liam just said mhm. He felt bad that he let Zayn off the hook so fucking easily, but he knew that he would still have a conversation with Liam.
“I love you, I’m really sorry.” Zayn said it in a muffled tone because his lips were on Liam’s head.
“Yeah… It just sucks, y’know.” Liam mumbled.
Zayn tightened his grip on Liam and said, “I love you Liam. I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah….” Liam sighed and dropped his head on Zayn’s chest. “Yeahh…”
“What part of it sucks the most?”
Liam backed away from Zayn and his touch and made the most awed face at Zayn’s stupidity as his voice got louder with each word, “Hmm… Let me think…. I don’t know Zayn…. Um… Maybe the fact that the whole fUCKING SCHOOL KNOWS I LOST MY VIRGINITY???!!!”
Zayn sighed and looked down at his hands. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, yeah whatever don’t know you any other words?”
“Yeah it’s just… I’m sorry. Sorry. I didn’t mean to say I’m sorry again. Sorry. Ugh fuck. I don’t do good with pressure. I’ve never really gotten in a fight before… Because I’ve never been in a relationship… and not I’m babbling okay yeah sorry. Ugh sorry I just… Oh my god. Sorry. Ugh. I apologize.” Zayn kept shaking his head looking all around he felt embarrassed for once.
Liam tried to hold in his tongue to keep from saying “Aww” and saying how cute Zayn was. “I thought I was your first… y’know.”
“No…” Zayn almost laughed because he thought it was obvious considering how many rumors always went around every week.
“I mean boy.”
“Oh… Yeah no…” Zayn felt bad, but he kept from lying.
“Yeah I thought so…” Liam sighed and this time Zayn scoot over towards him and wrapped his arm around Liam again.
“I apologize.”
“Sorry sounds better.” Liam giggled lightly.
“I’m sorry.”
Liam snuggled to Zayn’s dangling hand that was on Liam’s shoulder. “It’s okay.”
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a/n: a little bit more fluff will come with the next chapter!!
sorry for the late update!
how was your first week of school? or how's school in general? i hope you guys are doing well. i wish you the best of luck this new school year/semester or just year in your life in general!
i love you all forever
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