Forgive Me (Sequel)

•Chapter Sixty One•

Standing at the window, I faced the outside watching the rain drops cascade down the thick glass. A thunderstorm had ensued, the haphazard appearance of the blinding lightning was the sole source of illumination for the sky. The tumult outside mirrored the ongoing war inside of me. Even now with the birth of my twins, the only emotion that I should've been feeling was fleeting. I couldn't bring myself to be totally elated, knowing that such a high would soon disintegrate. I needed to tell Mia what was going but I couldn't bring myself to actually follow through with my intentions. With the twins officially making their debut, it was going to be a lot harder for me to take care of them and still Londyn without seeming suspicious.

I released a heavy sigh and ran a hand through my unkempt dreads. It felt like the weight of the world was pressing down on my exhausted shoulders. Turning around and facing away from the window, I watched my first born asleep in one of the chairs. Mia hadn't gotten up as yet and he insisted we stayed until she did. I smiled at him as he shifted in the chair trying to find a more comfortable position. His head had been dangling and his mouth wide open. Glancing away from him, my eyes landed on the woman I couldn't imagine living my life without. A thunderous noise sounded, vibrating the hospital's walls and a flash of lightning invaded the room. Mia stirred, and a light cough escaped her lips. I walked to her bedside and sat down in the vacant chair. I held her hand and laid my head by her side since the bed's bars were down.

I was on the verge of dozing off when I felt a delicate hand running through my dreads. I looked up only to find Mia staring at me lovingly. I averted my gaze, as the guilt built up and started eating away at me insides. Sensing something was off, she held my chin and turned my head so that I could look her in the eyes. The way she looked at me, it was obvious that she was searching for answers. I contemplated telling her everything. I figured now at the hospital would be the best time, incase she caused me bodily harm at least I'd be in the right place already. I searched my mind for the right words to say. Finally coming up with the best way to plead my case, I was interrupted by two nurses who waltzed in with Zéryah and Zahir indicating that it was time for them to be fed. I scooted away from the bed as the nurses placed the twins in Mia's arms. I sat back and looked at them in awe as both latched their lips to their designated nipple.

I continued to watch as Mia interacted with them. I half-smiled as she looked like a pro at nursing twins already. Zahir got done with his feeding first and she gestured for me to come over and hold him. Complying with her unspoken request I took him out of her arms and retreated to my seat in the corner. Removing his bib and placing it on my shoulder I held him against it and gently patted his back until I heard a faint burp escape his lips. I took him from my shoulder and cradled him in my arms. Water sprung from my eyes as we stared at each other, I couldn't believe I missed out on this moment with Ameer. I was grateful to have another opportunity with Zahir though.

"Hey lil man. I'm your daddy." I whispered.

"Guess I'ma have to find something else to call you since I already call Ameer lil man but for now the name is yours. He sleep right now so he ain't gotta know." I glanced over at Ameer who was still curled up in the chair. I had plans to wake him soon so he could see the twins and his mother. That boy slept like a bear and wouldn't wake up if I let him remain in the chair.

"That's a nice onesie you got there." It read my sister's keeper across the front.

"You and Ameer gon have to keep your sister safe." I tucked my lips in as I nearly slipped up and said sisters. From the corner of my eye I saw that Mia was done nursing our princess and would steal glances at me ever so often.

"And me ofcourse. She gon be well protected." A wide yawn escaped his lips causing me to chuckle.

"My bad, I ain't mean to bore you. I was just making small talk." Across the room, a laugh escaped Mia's lips.