Forgive Me (Sequel)

•Chapter Five•

It was a Friday afternoon and I was grateful that the day had flown by with swiftness. I was beyond tired but I was also grateful that I was self employed, I clocked out on my own time. However, most days I stayed until closing. I loved my job that much and I was dedicated to giving my clients top quality service. After I had completed my master's degree in accountancy I then went on to set the CPA examination. I was fortunate to pass on my first attempt, in fact I produced one of the highest scores for that sitting of the exam. Once I was officially certified I worked for F&F Business Consultancy before I decided to go solo. I was twenty-six years old when I opened AMD Accounting Services and I've been working for myself ever since. It was one of the best decisions I had ever made.

Once I made it home I flopped down on my recliner in my livingroom and quickly discarded my shoes. Just as I was about to close my eyes and let slumber consume me I realized that I was positioned directly across from the television, above it was one of Lance's paintings that his mother had given to me after his "death". I sighed as the urge to sleep suddenly abandoned me. It had been two weeks since I had seen him and I couldn't seem to shake him from my psyche. He haunted my dreams and constantly invaded my thoughts.

As I stared at the painting my mind drifted to the day Ms. Loretta had passed. I was at the hospital when she took her last breath. However, before life had escaped her body I recalled she whispered the same words Lance did, forgive me. Thinking back, the significance of those two words finally made sense. Lance knew what he was about to do and so did his mother. I became numb at the thought and suddenly found myself downstairs in the basement, well it was more like Shawn's man cave but I stored stuff there nonetheless.

I grabbed a box that had been untouched for the past eight years or so. It housed the memories of a relationship that I once held very dear to my heart. After retrieving the box I took a seat on the black leather couch that sat in the middle of the room. The first item of the box that volunteered to be seen was a framed picture of Lance, Avery and I at a carnival. I allowed myself to reminisce a bit. It was first time he and I had gone out. We weren't dating or anything at that point but he was racking up some major brownie points for being good with Avery. I half smiled at the memory before moving on to a small photo album. I had most of the pictures we'd taken together printed after his "passing".

Half way through the album I found myself getting upset and felt the need to release some of my pent up hurt and anger. I stormed upstairs with the box in hand, retrieved a lighter, some gasoline and proceeded to the backyard. I flung the box's contents out and drenched them with the gasoline. I was glad Ameer was spending the weekend with my sister because I would've hated for him to see me like this. Just as I flicked the lighter revealing it's small yet potent flame I felt my cellphone buzzing in my pocket. Shawn was calling.

"Hey Mrs. Jordan." He beamed once I slid the answer button.

"Hey love." I said, trying to sound as normal as possible.

"Remember we have a date night. I'll be picking you up at 7." He stated. I totally forgot that we had made plans for tonight.

"I'll be ready." I said before we said our goodbyes and hung up. I sighed as I focused my attention on the mess that sprawled across the yard. I quickly gathered everything, stuffed them back in the box, threw it in the trashcan and proceeded back inside to take a shower. It was about 5:30 and I wanted to take my time getting ready as well as try to regain some semblance of sanity. Once I stepped foot in the shower and allowed the water to cascade down my face, the tears flowed. I needed to get a grip fast, I couldn't allow Lance to have so much power over me. As far as I was concerned he was a thing of the past, a past I wished not to relive.

After spending nearly forty-five minutes in the shower I felt some what rejuvenated. I took my time moisturizing my body and getting dressed. I decided to apply some light makeup, I was feeling for a natural look. By the time Shawn arrived I was set and ready to go. We pulled up to an Italian restaurant that was hour away from where we lived. They had the best pasta and their thin crust pizza was to die for. Once the valet collected the vehicle and we indicated our names to the hostess we were immediately taken to a vacant table for two that was close to a window. It provided a perfect view of the city.

"Mrs. Jordan you look absolutely beautiful." Shawn said after I sat and he tucked my chair in.

"You're looking dapper in your suit as well Mr.Jordan." I said sweetly. He's the CFO at Lennon's Corporation so suits were regular work attire for him. The grey two piece ensemble complemented his 6'0 caramel, muscular frame nicely. His well moisturized waves seemed to shimmer under the restaurant's lighting.

"Thank you baby." He said, smiling brightly. "So how was your day?" He asked.

"It was okay." I said.

"Just okay?" He asked with a raised brow. I nodded yes before staring at nothing in particular. My days have been far from okay.

"Is something bothering you babe? I've been meaning to ask for a while now I just wasn't sure how. You seem, I don't know, kinda distant lately." He said, concern etched across his face. I sighed, I knew I couldn't hide from him forever.

"Two weeks ago I found out Ameer's father has been alive all this time. He's been in jail." I said. A shocked expression took over his face.

"Wow, jail? You sure do know how to pick them huh?" I knew he was trying to make light of the situation but I found nothing funny about what he said. My face communicated that fact.

"I'm sorry babe, I was only playing. What's he in for?" He asked curiously.

"Attempted murder." I said flatly. All the color drained from his face.

"He's not getting out is he?" He asked nervously.

"I don't know." I said truthfully. He looked extremely worried now.

"Even if he is, he wouldn't hurt us if that's your concern." I said trying to assure him. However, the reality of the situation was that I felt like I never knew Lance and I had no idea what he was capable of.

"Well, I'll always protect you and AJ no matter what happens." He said with more confidence than I knew he had. For the rest of the night we ate, drank and conversed as if the earlier conversation didn't take place. I was grateful for that, I wasn't about to let some deadbeat interrupt our lives.