Forgive Me (Sequel)

•Chapter Thirty Seven•

Munching on my caesar salad, my leg bounced nonstop. I had agreed to meet Shawn for lunch at a restaurant not too far from my office. As each minute ticked away the more my patience dwindled. Considering that he was the one who requested my presence he should've been here long before me. Had he not been prolonging the divorce process I would've told him to go to hell, and I'd be back at my desk doing something much more productive.

I didn't have much of a social media presence, as time and my lifestyle did not permit me such a luxury. However, to prevent myself from calling it quits and ultimately storming out of the restaurant I used the opportunity to scroll through my Facebook. There wasn't anything of interest to me, that is, until I came across Lance's art page. It's most recent post was uploaded yesterday, compliments Ameer. Since Lance had been locked up again Ameer had requested for me to get him paint supplies so he could continue where his father left off, and once he acquired his Facebook password it was a done deal. He had been fighting hard to get his grades back up so he could get his hands on the camera as well. A smile graced my lips just thinking about him. He was such a sweet kid, and although somedays he drove me to the edge I wouldn't trade him for anything.

"Somebody's happy to see me." Shawn said, taking a seat across from me. His chipper mood instantly caused my smile to disappear, it was now replaced by a scowl.

"Negro you wish. I gotta get back to work so make this quick." I said curtly. His smile soon disappeared as well.

"It's like that Mia?" He had the nerve to sound hurt.

"Yes Shawn, can you hurry this along please?" He hung his head and reached across the table trying to hold my hands but I snatched them way. Judging from his shoulder movements, he was now sobbing. I sat there, unfazed by his sudden show of emotion.

"Mia, I miss you. Can we just work this out? I was stupid and I'm sorry." He pleaded.

"Shawn, it's not like we got into an argument or something. You cheated and what made it even worse was you gave me an STD incase you forgot."

"I...It wasn't intentional. I was weak and it just kind of happened." It was hard for him to get his words out through his tears.

I snickered at him,"Just kinda happened huh? So you telling me you just slipped and fell between another woman's legs? Is that what you're telling me?"

"What? No Mia. It was just sex, honestly. She means nothing to me." He stated as if that somehow would pacify me.

I released a humorless laugh,"You're acting like you were deprived!" I semi-yelled. He sighed heavily, his tears subsiding.

"I just wanted to feel like a man again okay? It crushed me knowing I couldn't give you another child, and with Lance coming into the picture, he just served as a reminder of my inadequacy." He said sadly. I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath.

"Shawn that's no excuse. We could've talked about it. I've been trying to for the longest and everytime you just shoot the conversation down."

"I know, and I'm sorry."

We ended up staying at the restaurant and having a civilized lunch together, though he kept pestering me about working things out and seeking counseling but I was uninterested. Truth be told, I felt my heart drifting elsewhere and though I did love Shawn, the currents pulling my heart in another direction were much stronger. By the time we had wrapped up lunch he had agreed to cooperate. We were due to have a hearing next week.

"Are you sure about this Mia?" He questioned once he walked me to my car.

"Yes Shawn, and if you love me like you say you do you'd let me go." Stepping away from my car window, he stood there watching me pull out of the parking lot. Looking in my rearview mirror one last time, I gave one last glance at the symbol of my failed marriage. Accelerating once more, I sped into the direction of the person who held the answer to a question that had been nagging me for a while.