Forgive Me (Sequel)

•Chapter Two•

One, two, three... my homie Jeezy counted as I finished the last set of my bench presses. He'd recently been arrested for armed robbery. I knew him from the hood so we automatically stuck together once we realized we were housed on the same block. For the past ten years that's all I've pretty much been doing: pumping iron, eating and minding my own business. That combination helped me to stay out of trouble, well almost.

"Carter! You have a visitor." Warden Johnson informed me as I was about to start counting down for Jeezy as he took over from me.

"Who is it?" I asked. My sisters came to visit me earlier so I wasn't expecting anybody.

"How the hell am I suppose to know?" He asked, obviously irritated. Old dude had it in for me ever since I came here. I had no idea why but I didn't pay him any mind.

"I'ma be back." I told my homie before I left to head to the visitation room. Once I was escorted around the corner and came through the double doors I stopped dead in my tracks as I realized just who my visitor was, A'mia. I kept a straight face, unsure of how to react. The scowl on her face let me know that happy definitely wasn't a good emotion to display at that point.

I swallowed hard as I got my feet to move again and made my way over to where she was seated. I knew I was going to have to face her at some point but I didn't expect it to be like this. I hoped it would've happened once I got out though. As I took the seat opposite of her she just stared at me. For the first time in thirty-three years I felt uncomfortable under a woman's gaze.

"Hey, how you been?" I asked cautiously, breaking the silence. She released a laugh that was void of humor.

"How have I been Lance?" She asked through clenched teeth. I could tell she wanted to yell but didn't want the other people in the room to hear our business. I tried my best to keep the conversation civilized so I decided to ignore her antics.

"How's Ameer?"I asked. My mom usually kept me updated about his wellbeing when she was alive but I still asked hoping that the mention of his name would calm her down. The same laugh escaped her lips again.

"HOW'S AMEER?" She semi-yelled. "He's been fine WITHOUT you. We've been fine without you actually. Shawn has been great at doing your job!"

"You've been alive all this time and never one time reached out, now you wanna know how is he?" She continued, her voice held a firm and even tone.

"Lance my son thought he was crazy cause he thought he saw you at your mother's funeral and to think that it really was you all this time!" I broke our eye contact. I could see the tears forming in her eyes and I felt terrible.

"I'm sorry Mia." I said apologetically. I knew there was nothing else I could say at that point to appease the situation.

"It's A'mia and you're right. You are sorry, a sorry excuse of a man!" She spat venomously. I couldn't even be mad at her. I'd be pissed too if I were her.

"Let me explain." I offered.

"Explain? Nigga I don't wanna hear anything you got to say! I hope you rot in here and when you're done rotting in here I hope you rot in hell!" She was definitely heated, she hated using the N word. She use to rant about how our ancestors didn't struggle and die for us to refer to ourselves by names given to us by our oppressors. I just sat there, stuck on stupid as she glared at me. I guess her anger level soared the more she look at me because soon after she delivered a blistering slap to my face before she got up and stormed away. I was going to have work overtime to get back into her good graces. I needed to be in my son's life.

I remained planted in my seat for a while, flexing my jaw and rubbing where Mia's palm had connected. Despite what had happened I allowed a small smile to creep on to my face. She looked good. She was thicker than the last time I'd seen her a decade ago, the weight went to all the right places. As I watched her walk away I found myself humming Ginuwine's In Those Jeans as she rocked a pair of dark wash form fitting jeans and a long sleeve button down blouse that complemented her frame nicely.

I guess Shawn was doing a good job like she said. I heard from my sister Kemona that four years after I was supposedly dead she had married some dude she met while pursuing her master's degree. It bothered me at first knowing that another man was taking care of my son but I convinced myself I was of no to use him anyway. There wasn't nothing I could do being locked up.

When I finally got up, I decided I was going to head straight to my cell rather than back to the rec yard. As I rounded the corner and was about to take the stairs I was stopped by a female warden, Anika. She pulled me aside to a somewhat discreet spot in the common area.

"Wassup?" I asked, not really caring for her presence at the moment.

"Who was that hoe that came to visit you?" She asked, pissed.

I chuckled," Aye watch your mouth. It's nobody you need to be concerned about." I said. I found her anger comical.

"Yeah, whatever." She started saying, "Just remember this is mine." She said, grabbing me by the crotch.

I chuckled again," Man get your hands off me." I said as I pushed her off and continued my journey to my cell. She and I had been messing around for a little while. I knew it was wrong but being desperate and incarcerated would make a man do some things. She started working our block about three years ago. It was no secret that she was pleased with her assignment and she had a thing for dark skinned men so I became the perfect candidate.

Once I made it back to my cell I flopped down on the hard bunk and stared at the many pictures I had of Ameer. My mother made sure I never had a shortage of them. There was no denying that he was mine. He resembled me more and more as each year passed.

"I'ma make this right." I whispered as I took down a picture of him at his fifth birthday party and stared at it. I have to make this right...