Lupus Heart | Wolf Duology Book One

T E N

(Angel's POV)

I was so excited to be going to a carnival and the beach. It felt really good to have new clothes and to be able to choose what to wear. At first I was afraid to get the dress and my other clothes, but when I saw Tal's smile and he said I had a choice if I wanted to get them or not, I knew there was nothing to be afraid of.

I knew Tal wasn't like the rouge Alpha and it made me happy that I finally had a chance to live a normal life with my mate. As we started getting closer to our destination, I started to feel really excited, but also scared. What if something happened? What if I freak out and ruin the date and everything Tal planned out?

"Angel? Sweetheart, what's wrong? Why are you breathing so fast?" Tal asked concerned.

While I was having a small panic attack, I didn't even notice that we had pulled into the parking lot in front of the carnival entrance. Tal grabbed my hands gently in his, rubbing his thumb across the back of my hands trying to calm me down. Slowly my breathing went back to normal and I felt a little calmer than before.

"I'm ok now. I just don't want to disappoint you by messing things up today on our date. I want to forget about my past and move on but I can't seem to get over everything that's happened to me in the last 8 years like everyone wants me too. It's not that easy to not think that something won't happen to me or that this is all a dream and I'll wake up to find myself back in that cage again. I want to get better and live a normal life but I don't know how." I said truthfully, keeping my eyes glued to my hands as I felt a shame like no other fill my heart.

I didn't want to look at Tal's face and see what he actually thought of me and that he might not want to be with me anymore. When he didn't say anything I took that as his answer to my unasked question and felt tears fill my eyes.

"I'm sorry... I know I'm not what you wanted in a mate, that I'm the complete opposite of it. You don't have to worry rejecting me because I understand you don't want me anymore. Everyone was right, I can't be fixed. I just... I... I'm sorry..." I rambled on quietly.

Not be able to hold back the tears that have been choking to come out, I opened the door as fast as I could. I didn't know where I was going as I ran from the car with tears rolling down my cheeks trying to control my sobs. Before I could get very far I felt a gentle hand grab my arm and pulled me to a stop.

"Angel," I heard Tal whisper. His voice full of hurt and sadness that it made me cry even harder. I never wanted to hurt him. I just wanted to give Tal a chance to live a better life with someone else that he can't get from me.

"Angel." Tal said again, but with less hurt and sadness in his tone. I still couldn't look him in the eyes. I just couldn't. Tal sighed and turned me so I was facing him all the way as he pulled my chin up gently with his hand so I had to look at him.

"I'm-m s-s-o-r-r-y," I sobbed out quietly as I closed my eyes. Tal cupped my face in his smooth hands and kissed my forehead before speaking.

"Why did you run Angel? I would never reject you because of what happened to you in your past that you had no control over. You are perfect for me in every way and I don't want anyone else but you baby girl. I didn't know that you still felt that way about yourself or about life, but I can tell you this; I will help you get better and I will never regret having you as a mate. However much you need to feel better is how much we'll take and never say sorry for something that you had no control over happening to you."

"I don't know what's wrong with me," I whispered softly.

A small smile formed on Tal's face. "Love, nothing is wrong with you. What you went through, no one should ever go through either. Is going on this date to much for you Angel? If it is, I didn't mean to push you into going when you weren't ready yet. We can always put it off for another day and do something else? It's all up to you."