The Heart of Insanity {{In Edits}}

Losing It

Present Day

Prison.

  "Mankester!"

  Ian jerked up from his position on the floor, and hastily wiped away the tears, and the last of the memory, just as a guard burst into his cell.

  He was glowering down at Ian, who just grinned as he noticed what the guard was holding.

A pretty pink marble that sparkled in the light.

"How did you like your present, Kastor?" Ian smiled, and tried not to laugh.

  "How many times, Mankester, do I have to tell you not to lose your marbles or call me that?" the guard jaw clenched painfully; every guard knew that Ian was going insane, and could easily piss another off with just a sentence. "You're lucky you still have them."

  "Then, what do I call you?" he grinned again, and the guard flustered and reddened considerably. He growled and stormed out, throwing the marble back at Ian.

  He caught it effortlessly and caressed it gently, carefully examining its perfect roundness... Except something was wrong... Taking a closer look, Ian saw a crack.

 

  A tiny crack, where a peice was missing.

Tears welled up into his eyes and he felt them slide down his cheeks. It reminded him of Emily, and she been broken just like the marble.

  He dropped the marble and it bounced away, rolling into a corner and staying there. Ian made no move to go retrieve it.

  For five years now, he felt he was slowly losing his mind. Like a bag of marbles that had a hole, each marble dropping out and plinking softly before being lost forever.

  Just as the guilt ate at his heart...

How could he let that happen to his little angel?

  Why can't anyone understand me? I'm alone in the world, with marbles to keep me company.

  What was wrong with me?

  His thoughts drifted in and out, just as all his tears stopped and started, the hole is heart getting plugged with hope then tore out by guilt.

  Would they ever forgive me? I don't even know if I can forgive myself.

  Food arrived for dinner, and Ian just sat and stared at the slop through his watery eyes, and didn't touch it. He felt too sick to even try.

   Maybe death would be easy... he mused. I'd only have to choke.... the guards wouldn't care.

  His thoughts stopped as he slumped against the wall, and drifted into sleep, where nightmares haunted him of his daughter's rape.

****

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