Fated: Wars Against The Heart

Chapter 18: Fighter's Guilt

26th June, 2019

But why is the world like this and I can never understand it?

When a fighter fights for a cause, be it life, country, love or even the mind, there remains an amount of guilt when the fight hadn't been successful enough. That was the case for both of them. Ameen had been fighting to win her, which he did but it didn't turn out successful and as for Taraa, she had been fighting for her mind, for a piece of logic for everything to make sense, even herself. But the reality refused to fight alongside her.

There was this guilt in them which neither of them knew how to flush it out and where to channel it out. Ameen didn't know how to explain what happened, Taraa wished he didn't bother her with the million phone calls.

"I never wanted a fairytale! Just a normal or . . . a simple life." She huffed, stuffing the potatoes in her mouth.

"There's nothing called simple in this reality!" Aunt Esta reassured.

"Whatever, don't let me think about him or anything related to him!" She sighed.

"Okay, I was gonna ask you about the baby, but never mind!" Aunt Esta shrugged.

"What, of course you can ask me about my baby in my womb! It's not like it's related to Ameen or som-" But then she paused when the reality didn't check in and Aunt Esta had to raise her brows.

"I'm sorry, with what happened! We all Adel women are cursed with stupid husbands!" Her Aunt apologized.

Taraa pressed her lips. "Dad was a great husband until mom started all that mess with the company which now technically Abed owns! Speaking of Abed, I wonder what kind of husband he'll be, that if he ever gets married!" She paused, "Do you think it's the women who are the main problem and not the men?" She asked.

Aunt Esta was knowingly quiet. "Okay, I mean apart from you. Do you think me and mom are a little over with things and situations?" Taraa was really upset when all her voice spoke was guilt.

"You are not your mother and you never was. You were always you. And so is Abed. Besides his drinking in general and temper in particular, which he probably stopped hence the asylum, he is also not like his dad or his mother. Both of you grew up to be different people with amazing personalities. I can't completely speak for your brother, but you Taraa, you are the star of this family, you are so strong, brave and patient, and understanding, considerate and all those words my mind can't come up with because of how unique you are." They broke into a fit of laughter and Taraa was in tears, after a long, long time.

"I love how calm and chill you are even in the midst of fire and hell!" She chuckled upon the choice of her words.

Taraa shook her head with a smile as she allowed those tears to finally fall out. "Aren't fire and hell the same thing?"

"And so are calm and chill!" Her Aunt laughed while she cried out a little more. "I can't believe you came here without a fight. If I were you, I would demand a divorce! And I would make sure I get it. Maybe I wouldn't even think about the baby's future or I would care less about repeating my parent's mistake. But you did the most selfless thing ever, you sacrificed your heart for a life. You sacrificed your pride, anger and rights for a life. You sacrificed your heart for another heart. You sacrificed your heart so that a life could live the dreams you could possibly not let it. You sacrificed your heart even though it didn't want you to. You fought against your heart for another heart's wishes. You put another heart above yours. The victory of the war against your heart was in your hands but you decided that your soul should choose wisely. The Good one. If anything, your heart is the most valuable thing and the bravest that I have come across and I pray that the most deserving of it receives it."