1st September, 2019
Fairytales were just a bunch of scam, partly they played a part in the reality. They turned into nightmares. They broke my heart. The reality on the other hand was just very real, it never changed. It was what it was.
"Depression is real. Especially for Muslims like us. I remember a friend telling me that we Muslims don't have a thing called depression. It's not within ourselves, that it is all just in the head or simply phases. But she was wrong. Only true Muslims can know what depression is like. Because we know what real happiness is. We know what's it like when we run low on our Iman. Raw misery, real depression." She muttered, she felt as if her soul was floating across the air. She ignored the dark yet glittery sky as her heart was flying up to it.
"Do you always feel like that?" The girl sitting across her resting figure asked.
"Yes, almost every time." Delera shrugged.
"Maybe you should go out more. Or, try to be with people. Like, with similar interests. It really helps. Being with different people gives you new perspectives and different motivations. You never know." The girl suggested.
Delera smiled the signature smile of hers and muttered, "I know, Anyah. I know. But I can't. Paranoia, anxiety, trust issues. And there's so much more that I don't know and that I would not see them coming when I connect or interact. I fear that I wouldn't know how to handle myself when I get into the things that aren't meant for me!" She explained.
The usual story. Her friend rolled her eyes at her. "You always look down upon yourself, you are not that low and weak to handle yourself. You manage just fine without anyone. You should go easy on yourself. Also, I think you should talk to someone, you know like a shrink or something. . . ." Anyah trailed off knowing just well what her friend's answer would be. Delera would comment, I have you to talk to, besides I'm a shrink myself!
But this time, she was just quiet.
She stared up at the night sky while ignoring the turmoil of loneliness that settled upon her. Yet, she wondered, what was it like to have real friends, to be with them, to have the same love for each other? What was it like to matter, to mean something to somebody who would be everybody to her. What was it like to have somebody to talk to, without having the fear of trust issues and paranoia. What was it like to have what everyone else had?
And she was back to square one. The topic of trust is a sensitive matter. She was very careful even when spending time with Anyah. Her guard was always up. A shield that protects her from the world. Nevertheless, she had given life many second chances, when usually it is the other way around. She guessed things were different when it came to her.
"Anyway, how are things at home?" Anyah momentarily changed the subject.
"Same old, same old!" She muttered. She didn't know why she was even replying to Anyah.
"I guess I should leave, or else, I would miss the ten o'clock bus. Thanks for the time Del, it means so much!"
Delera only nodded at her as she sat up straight from the sheet above the garden floor. She gave her a smile and Anyah returned the same.
Before she reached to backdoor, stopping in midway she called out, "Hey, good luck for the big meeting tomorrow. And try to get rich, yeah!"
Delera only frowned and murmured to herself, " Oh, you had to remind me of the reality! Again!"
YOU ARE READING
Fated: Wars Against The Heart
Short StoryHer only sorrow was that she lived in a fairytale in this reality of now. She craved for a life what was called 'simple', but the world was way too complicated. The glitz of her world clashed with the realities of life and stole away all the dreams...
