12th November, 2019
I didn't live a life, I lived a lie.
It's like your own mind breaks your heart. All of it. Imprisoned and helpless, when you can't have what you dream about, those people you never got a chance to be friends with, those memories you never got to live, that person you never met, those places you have never been to. Yet you are in love. All in your head, never a reality, an impossible dream come true. All an idea, a taste of what it would feel like. Only that.
Because if the mind is broken, everything else is broken. Not the heart first. It's all in the mind, the information comes in there first. The mind is the real game. And the heart is. . . just the player. The heart just plays along, it's just there, doing what it does best! Playing us. Playing the mind. Making us feel that it's the one who is in control. But, it's all us, all in our head!
However, when the heart chokes the mind, it doesn't realize that all its blood flows back to itself.
You can't dream if your mind is broken just like you can't love if your heart is broken.
You can't love if you don't have a mind because then you wouldn't know what to feel and who is who.
Yet, you cannot break if you don't have a heart and a mind. The irony, the contrary, is just mindbreaking!
Why have our minds narrowed down only to the heart? It's the mind to be blamed, everything that goes wrong, it happens in there, inside the mind. In one theoretical sense. But in many others, we feel the pain in the heart, though it's our mind that acknowledges it.
Delera thought back to that incident at work. She thought about his character, something off about him, sighing she brought her laptop and started googling him. For a moment she was impressed and surprised, he used be a surgeon two years ago. He stopped practicing upon his wife's death and now he is into his dad's business. There weren't any background profile of his wife or her name at least. She shouldn't think of him, someone who was apathetic enough to not consider details and factual reasons.
° ° °
It's hard being a counsellor. Especially with all the defying odds that keeps slamming off people. She was satisfied, but she needed something more than satisfaction, something akin to happiness. To her, there were no such thing as happiness, it was a myth in her head. Because she knew she couldn't get everything in life, as this world wasn't paradise.
Routine was her worst enemy. As much as she hated it, it was already a part of her life. Walking to work was a frustration. It was a 20 minute walk from her place, along with her long trail of thoughts and theories.
Every morning was a new perspective, everyday she would find reasons behind her past and the way things had turned up. Every moment she would find herself convincing of hope and good will. It was hard, because that was life. And it gets harder with every moment. And so, there was always the relief at the end of each happening. That is the circle of life, that was her.
Someday her plan would work, she would be successful enough to feel the happiness she lost and didn't receive. Or what she thought, that people live in different worlds in their heads, those worlds that no one sees, talks about and listens to.
Walking between the office chambers, when she reached hers, she was abruptly interrupted from entering in.
"There's a thin line between the mind and the heart. You've got a visitor, Del!"
YOU ARE READING
Fated: Wars Against The Heart
Short StoryHer only sorrow was that she lived in a fairytale in this reality of now. She craved for a life what was called 'simple', but the world was way too complicated. The glitz of her world clashed with the realities of life and stole away all the dreams...
