Mindless Short Stories

The Maury Show

EJ: *watching tv, flipping through channels & comes across the Maury show * hm, that boy looks familiar.. *stops and watches it*

Maury: Here's a flashback! A video that went across the globe, let's take a look.

.....

Maury: hello everybody & welcome to the Maury show! Today we have 27 year old, Verizon Wireless with us today
VerizonWireless: first of all Maury, it's pronounced Vur-Ree-Zone-We-Were-Lease , and second, I'm here today because my baby daddy, Chresanto ain't owning up to his responsibilities
Maury: is that your baby *points at the screen*
Audience: EW
VerizonWireless: YAS that's my little handsome
Audience: KILL IT BEFORE IT LAYS EGGS
VerizonWireless: WHATEVA YALL JUST MAD CAUSE MY BABY GOT ALL THE PRESCHOOL HOES FUCK YALL
Maury: and I heard you were pregnant again with Chresanto's baby
VerizonWireless: YUP MHM, HE DROPPED HIS SEED IN MY COOCHIE MHM
Maury: oh god, let's bring out Chresanto to the stage
Audience: BOOOOOOOO
VerizonWireless: BOOO YEAH CHRESANTO BOOOO

* Roc walks out onto the stage and sits in the chair*
Roc: sup Maury
Maury: um.. Chresanto I didn't know you were that young looking...how old are you?
Roc: 6
Maury: wow...um tell us your side of the story
Roc: that monkey looking ass baby ain't my child, shit, my balls ain't even dropped yet. Trying to pin a baby on me and trying to get child support but her dumb ass fail to realize I'm 6, what am I supposed to pay child support with? Crayons?
Maury: did you have sex with that woman ?
Roc: naw cause all I did was stick a old pacifier up her pussy to see how loose it was, her pubes grabbed my pacifier and ate it, I ain't have sex with ha
VerizonWireless: THEN HOW AM I PREGNANT WITH YO BABY
Roc: bitch, I'm 2 feet away from you, stop that fucking yelling before I smack you with this long, fetus dick
Maury: how certain are you that Chresanto is the father,VerizonWireless?
VerzionWireless: IM 5000 PERCENT MAURY
Maury: I'm just telling you now, that baby doesn't look like them
VerizonWireless: HOW THEY DONT LOOK THE SAME!? THEY LOOK LIKE TWINS
Maury:bitch you must be blind
VerizonWireless: shut up you fake ass tv therapist *flips weave and it gets stuck in the air*
Maury: I've had enough, let's get the results

*Maury gets the results from producers and goes back to his seat*
Maury: in the case of little , Ba...Ba..
VerizonWireless: BananaFuFantaEEMahMuMantaFruitopisMcDonaldquan
Roc: I'm 50 shades of Done with that name.
Maury: You Are... NOT the father
Roc: AWWWWWW TU I KNEW IT , I WASNT SURE BUT I KNEW IT
VerizonWireless: NOOOO OMG *cries* GOD NO NOO WHO SUPPOSED TO PAY FOR MY WEAVE NOW NOOOOO *rolls off stage*
Maury: how does it feel to not have a child Chresanto?
Roc: it feels good bruh, like it ain't want my child to be in the same grade as me and shit so I'm happy af bruh *looks at watch* just in time for milk & cookies

...

EJ: hm....this is my new favorite show.