Finding Me (A Joe Sugg / ThatcherJoe Fanfiction)

Chapter Twenty-Five

I ran upstairs crying because the sight of Joe ruined me. How could I break the one thing that mattered the most to me? Caspar and Layla heard me and once they saw me they both pulled me into a big hug. I guess my crying led them to cry as well, because once we separated from the hug there were tears in everybody's eyes.
"Did you tell him?" Caspar asked and wiped his eyes.
"Yes... He's.. Out.." I cried harder thinking about how I saw him in the car. His eyes were really red and his hands were frantically running through his hair.
"Shhh," Layla pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back.
"How could I be so mean to him Layla? I should've just told him, I messed everything up," I cried into her shoulder. She continued to rub my back and she took me into the bathroom to wash up. I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed my makeup was smeared in all directions and that I cried tears of black because my mascara ended up in my tears.
"He still loves you," she assured me taking a makeup pad and wiping it all away," he's just scared right now Mary. He really loves you." I looked down and cried even more because he still hasn't come in from the car yet and I was getting extremely worried he wasn't going to come back in for me.
"What if he hates me?" I said wiping my face and splashing it with water.
"He does not hate you. Trust me. It's far from that," she pulled me into another hug and I could feel her tears on my cheek.
"Layla, I told mom this morning," I said looking at her. She instantly broke down and I had to help her take off her makeup now because her face soon turned smears of black.
"She was okay with it. She knew that nothing bad was going to happen. That's how I have to think about it... This is just a little bump in the road and soon I will be back up and ready for more adventures," I said wiping her eyes. She looked up at me hopeful and pulled my head close to hers so are foreheads were touching.
"You're the best sister I could've asked for and I don't want to see you in pain," she said with her eyes closed. Layla was so beautiful when she cried because she expressed every emotion through her face. She was worried for me, but at the same time she was worried about our mom.
"I'm not in pain," I replied holding her head and stroking her hair. We sat there for a moment listening to each other breathe and the door cracked open and Caspar walked in.
"Can I talk to Mary?" He said lowly. I got up and left Layla to cry in the corner of the bathroom all alone whilst I deal with Caspar.
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"Yes?" I asked wiping my face.
"Joe's gone," he said looking down at the floor.
"What do you mean 'Joe's gone'"? I asked running towards the stairs and to the front door. I opened the door to find no car in the driveway. I sat down on the porch and covered my face so I could cry even more. Caspar followed behind me and picked me up. I shoved away from him.
"Don't you dare touch me. I'm done with this in done with everything. I wish I could just know if I was going to die or not!" I yelled at him. I was furious that Joe would leave me. Why would he do that? I thought he loved me. Thought.
"Mary please come in. Layla and I will take care of you," he pleaded in a low voice.
"Nobody can help me now I'm just a huge fuck up, and I have nowhere to go and nothing to do anymore. I'm going to die Caspar, I have a fifty fifty chance of living. How do you think I feel? How do you think I feel now knowing that my boyfriend ditched me? I'm done with this. I thought he loved me Caspar, I thought he was the one!" I yelled. He brought me into the house fighting and locked the door. I was screaming, crying, and flailing my arms and legs as he brought me upstairs.
"Marilyn please listen to me," he said having a tight grip on my arm. It almost hurt, but I was numb to the pain.
"He's coming back, he probably has to go for a relaxing drive. You told him you had cancer Mary, that's a serious thing. Plus you guys are really serious, so he's taking it differently than we did. He may wake up one morning with you not there Mary, do you understand? You sleep in his arms every single night and one night you might not be there," he said with tears falling down his cheeks. I wiped them away and he did the same for me. I definitely calmed down for what Caspar said, but I still couldn't believe the fact that he would leave me.
"I get it," I said curling up into a ball on the sofa. Caspar followed me and I put my head in his lap. He stroked my hair and I silently cried while thinking about everything that has happened in my life until now. I had a boring childhood into my adulthood, but once I came to London for the first time, everything changed. I wanted to go exploring to new places and I experienced true love. My true love. Why did something terrible have to ruin my already terrible life? The only thing I had going for me was my family, Joe, and Caspar... One of whom already walked out on me. Other than that I couldn't take my life for granted because there were other people worse off than me. Some people only had a few days to live, while for me there was a small chance I could live another day. Some people had no hope, but I did and I should be so mopey about dying when it was just a chance. I lifted my head of Caspar's lap and I dried my face off with my shirt.
"I'm going to live," I told him. He smiled and pinched my cheek.
"I know you are, you're too strong and too fabulous," he said flipping his nonexistent long hair.
"I'm going to sleep out here if you don't mind," I said.
"No, not at all. Ill take the pillows and blankets out of the guest room for you," he said leaving and returning with a stack of pillows and a blanket for me.
"Thank you Cas, you're a wonderful friend," I said getting comfortable and snuggling up to the blankets.
"Anything," he said coming over and giving my forehead a kiss before leaving to go check up on Layla. I closed my eyes and my hearing heightened a little bit. I could hear Caspar console her and get her to come to bed, but she refused. She was heartbroken and it was all my fault. How could I ever mend someone as fragile as her? After a few minutes of arguing, Caspar finally got her to go to bed, but not after she approached the couch to tell me goodnight. I pretended I was asleep and I think she realized, but she still told me the nicest goodnight:
"Goodnight sis, I know we haven't been close in the past, but we are now. After dad died we suffered a tragic loss as a family and now we're closer than ever. I don't want you to die because I'll be all on my own and I need my big sister to help guide me and make the right decisions for me. You're my best friend and I love you," she kissed my head and closed the door to Caspar's bedroom. Once the coast was clear I took my hand and wiped away the one lone tear I received from the goodnight.
---
"Marilyn?" A hand shook me awake and I woke up startled. I didn't really fall asleep until hours after Caspar left me. I cried some more and thought about life. How I wish I didn't live this way, and how I wish everything could be normal.
"Joseph, what are you doing here?" I asked. I totally forgot this was his house, not mine.
"I live here, anyways... Were you sleeping?" He asked taken aback.
"Not anymore," I said wiping my eyes and sitting up.
"I was thinking about what you said earlier, about being sick..." He held my face in his hands and started crying. "I can't live without you. I kept thinking what if I let you go, but in my heart I knew I couldn't abandon you. I love you so much you don't understand, I would be willing to do anything for you. If you need help I will help you. You know what, let's get married."
"Are you nuts?" I asked with my mouth dangling open and my eyes wide.
"No. I'm sane. Just I want the commitment," he said kissing my nose.
"Joseph, I'm not dying," I said shaking my head under his hands.
"You said there's a fifty-fifty chance..."
"But I'm not going to let it happen," I said looking at him seriously. He looked down at the ground then back up at me.
"If we get married I want kids," he laughed sitting next to me.
"I do too," I said grabbing his hand and kissing his knuckles.
"Our girl will be named Flora," he said. I looked over at him with a disproved look.
"Flora, like flowers?" I asked blinking in disbelief.
"Yeah, isn't that such a beautiful name?" He asked looking at me with that wonderful sparkle in his eye.
"Now that I think about it, it's beautiful," I said smiling. He responded with a smile back and he laid his head on my shoulder. I was really glad that Joe didn't walk out of my life tonight, and it was even better he was willing to do anything to stay with me. We talked for hours about life and our life. It was strange that we knew each other for less than a month, but we were picking out children's names and wedding details. I had a feeling about Joe when I met him and everyday it grew stronger, but today was the day it was finally set in stone. Joe Sugg loved me. He loved me because I was sick and he didn't care.

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A/N:
Hi everybody! I just want to thank each and every reader for reading this little fanfic because it means so much and I honestly wish I could tell you how much this means to me. A lot of wonderful things happened to me today and I'm so blessed to have you all along to enjoy these with. To start off I would like to say "CONGRATULATIONS!!!!" to my partner in crime and favorite sister Kristen(Kris) for starting her BRAND-SPANKING-NEW FANFICTION. so if you love this story's plot line, be sure to check her fanfic out because I've read some chapters and "holy wow" (exact words). She's such a doll. (Love you Kristen if you're reading this 😘)
And I would also like to state that this fanfic has done unbelievably well in the Wattpad community and it's all because you guys are so awesome and I seriously appreciate it. Every comment and vote you leave makes me want to do better things for you guys. And in appreciation of your niceness and cuteness I have decided that there will be a SECOND book (we discussed it and it sounds awesome!) and on top of that... There may be a THIRD along the way ;) once we finish this one you'll see where it will end up and such. But do not worry, if you're not a huge fan of Joe Sugg and you're reading this just because you can... I am thinking about doing a One Direction one because sorry not sorry, I am so obsessed with them lately! Of course I have to go through a brainstorming session, so that may be a solid truth or not. I would also like to state that if anyone out there needs somebody to talk to at all, for any reason, Kristen and I will be there to help. Just message us and I promise I will respond. You guys mean so much to me and it truly hurts to see someone feel bad when I can't do anything about it. Even if you want to ask how my day has been or just chat me up, please do so. I love you all so much, it is so hard to put into words what you guys do for the story and us.
We love you so much.
-Court (and Kris watching 5SOS funny and cute moments on YouTube)

ps. I know it's a short chapter and I'm so sorry, I really am! I've been so busy with work and doing homework that I haven't even completed to turn in tomorrow!