AVALON

Chapter 48 - Detached

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A/N - Hey Guys. This isn't going to be the chapter you expect, infact Noah's POV wont be until the one after the next one. This chapter is another foundation chapter and also one that I wanted to show just how Av does affect those around her and how she doesn't really have a clue that she does . I wanted to show that although she is strong she still ... struggles with stuff that probably all of us do. But you will hear more of that in the next chapter when it will be Avalon's POV for the show period wiht a bit of Seth's. I know these type of chapters aren't the fun and exciting ones but to me anyway they start to build more on the characters themselves. I hope you enjoy it regardless. As always Uneditted.

 Avalons POV

By the time I get home to Harry's it's like I've swallowed a bitter pill that keeps burning my insides like nothing else no matter how much I try and concentrate on anything else. Pop said to crumple the thoughts up like you would a ball of paper and throw it in your mental bin, my bin is already bloody full of these paper balls already!

 I slide off Amber and lead her over to the hose spraying her. I wish people were like horses in the way that they seem to sympathize with you on your level and then slowly bring you out of it... well I take back the slowly bit as the water hits me in the face from Amber's wild swing with the hose. Abruptly may be a better choice of word. At least she brings a smile to my face, my dripping wet face. I let her have the hose for another minute before turning it off to begin rasping the water off her glossy coat. I love how the gold really shows when she's wet.

My mind is so stupid; I can't seem to stop thinking of Noah's face when he looked at the message. The rest I don't really care about, it won't be the last biff I get into Nathan will make sure of that and I like usual I don't have any remorse for those girls at all. I did warn them. Actually I am annoyed a bit hat I didn't get to lay in to the big ones face more but mostly its Noah's face that's keeps revisiting my mind, the way that shadow glazed his eyes like he was just waiting for something like this to happen.

Like he was waiting to be let down.

Like he thought I would let him down all along.

That he thought I was the type of person that would let down someone I classified as 'friend'.

Half of me wants to ride back there like a hurrican and ram him up against the wall while I tell him how it is, but the other half of me that wonders why the hell I should. Why he didn't just bloody gesture or something and ask me was it true?

Am I not worth even that to him?

It's different than when I had a yelling match with Seth after the surf comp, that stuff wasn't really questioning my person as this is. To defend myself in this just seems... self depreciating somehow... I dunno it just seems like I shouldn't have to.

The whole sleeping with Seth isn't the thing that worried me even though I know that they thought I was having sex with him, because if I did it's my choice and when I make choices I make them so I don't care what others think... the thing that gets me though is the whole bit where they thought I had like infiltrated their 'text message believing cult' to bring down Noah. That he may be thinking that right now.

Like what the hell does he think my next tattoo would be of? Me and Seth evilly concocting some plan, then us laughing as he... what? I don't even know what I could plan to do to hurt him or bring him down.

One thing we are really taught at home is loyalty and the importance of camaraderie. Ten million horses could not make me betray those I've deemed as my friends or one hundred million for those I see as my family. Yet in a blink of an eye and the sound of a text I was condemned without any question. I can't help the bitterness that seems to wrap around my heart causing me to start tapping the box matches and looking at the bridge Noah has to it. That's what Nathan said happened to him, he said it was like he was on this island with all these bridges attached to him with people on the other side and when he got done in he just burnt half of the bridges and practically constructed massive walls so no one could ever get in again. I used to feel so horrible for him that he did that... but now I understand.