Destiel Being Noticed

Chapter 7

Deans POV
I don't know what made me do it. I don't know what possessed me into kissing Cas and inviting him to sleep in my bed last night. I didn't know what to think waking up this morning, driving him to church, wanting so badly for us to just be normal, to be able to hold hands and kiss one another without having to worry about what others will think and say. When I kissed Cas last night, I liked it. I've kissed girls before, hell I'd done more than kiss them. I'd kissed a guy only once before as well, when I was too young to understand that it was supposed to be wrong. But all those times before I kissed Cas, it was nothing like having his lips on mine, his hands roaming in my hair, encouraging me to make it last longer. So when I drop Cas off at his house and he stops my rambling by pressing his lips to mine I become speechless. He leaves me wanting to feel his lips pressed against mine again, yet I feel as if I'm using him. Just trying to find out how far I'm willing to go.
When I come back home Sammy is awake and watching tv. Some old cartoon is playing and I smile at him, no matter how old he gets he can't seem to stop watching them. I think it's partly because they represent a different time in our lives, a better happier time. Before our father started drinking, before our mom died. I cast the thoughts out of my head, instantly becoming upset with myself for thinking like that.
"I'm gonna go out for a while," I say grabbing my keys again and walking out the door. Driving down the road I don't have a key destination until I pull up to the Roadhouse. My friends Jo and Ash work here after school and they get decent pay since Jo's mother, Ellen, owns the place. Walking inside I take a seat at the far end of the bar. It's not crowded today, lot of people at church. Like Cas, my subconscious adds.
"Hey Dean, what can I getcha?" Jo says approaching me, a smile on her face. She loves to be here most of the time, I know she does but she has an even stronger yearning to get out of this town. To travel far and wide, never looking back.
"Think you can sneak me a beer?" I ask her, wanting to get my mother and hopefully Cas off my mind.
"Sure thing," Jo says.
Ash slides up onto the bar stool besides me, his mullet whipping around crazily.
"Sup?" He asks doing a head nod.
"Nothing much Ash, what about you?" I ask him taking the bottle Jo sets in front of me.
"The usual hacking and what not. Bad morning?" He says nodding at the bottle in my hand.
"No, too much going on upstairs," I say taking a drink of the bitter liquid.
"I totally understand, the voices just won't leave you alone?" Ash asks.
"Not that kind of activity I have going on in my mind Ash but close," I say eyeing him suspiciously. He's always been a little off since I met him, but he's interesting to have around.
"Right, right," Ash says not really listening, "gotta go catch that pool game, talk to you later Dean." And with that he's gone. I let out a small laugh, the beer already helping to loosen me up, make me forget why I came here in the first place.
"So Dean how are things at home?" Jo asks returning in front of me.
Her, Ash, Ellen, and my Uncle Bobby are the only people besides Sam that know what goes on in our home. Bobby and Ellen have tried to be there when I was younger, when I couldn't put up a fight. I still don't, but I ignore that fact.
"He's gone for the weekend as usual," I say, allowing the liquid to slide down my throat again.
"Anything new happen?" Jo asks and I wonder if she is talking about injuries or Castiel.
"Just a few bruises and cuts," I say gesturing to my face, the cuts that Cas had cleaned.
"They don't look so bad," Jo says taking a closer look. I nod my head.
"So, I was thinking that maybe I could come over tomorrow? Or today? We can just hang," Jo says throwing a towel over her shoulder.
"I can't, I have a project for school to work on," I say not meeting her eyes.
"I could help," she offers. Licking my lips I say,
"Yea, I know. I have a partner to work on it with though."
I don't know why but I don't want to tell her about Cas. I think she may somehow be able to read my mind and know what I've been thinking about and what I did. Like she would judge me for having a kid like Cas at my house.
"Oh," she says, "I understand, another time then?"
"Yea, another time," I say agreeing. Once the bottle is empty I pay for it and leave. Driving down the road I see a familiar trench coat seated on a park bench. His head is in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. I park my car by the curb and climb out, walking towards Castiel. As I approach him I can hear muffled sobs escaping his hands, I immediately become uncomfortable but keep going towards him anyway.
"Cas?" I ask, standing by his side. His head whips up in surprise and he turns towards me, tears staining his cheeks.
"Dean? What are you doing here?" He asks reaching up and swiping at his cheeks.
"I could ask you the same thing," I say taking a seat beside him on the bench, "aren't you supposed to be in church?"
"I-uh wasn't feeling well," he lies, staring down at the grass.
"Cas, what happened?" I ask him, laying my hand on his shoulder. When he looks at me his eyes are glossy, the blue shining even brighter.
"I'm sick, I'm going to burn in hell," he says his voice catching on his words.
"Who would say that to you?" I ask him, looking around making sure we are alone.
"I'm going to be punished. I can never be clean, I'll never reach paradise. I don't know what's wrong with me," he wails his head falling back into his hands. I don't know what to do.
"Come on, lets get in the car. I can take you home," I say, grasping his arm when I see Crowley round the corner.
"Cas come on," I say hauling him to his feet and walking to my car. Leading him around I open the passenger side door and set him in. Crowley is stopped on the sidewalk beside my car, smirking at me.
"Hello Dean," Crowley says, hands tucked into his pockets.
"Crowley," I say reaching for the door.
"What are you doing with Cassie?" Crowley asks his smirk deepening.
"What are you trying to play at?" I ask turning back around to face him.
"I'm not playing at anything. Are you?" He asks me glancing inside to where Cas is seated.
"Is this some kind of game to you? Picking on him for being gay? Who cares Crowley?" I say taking a threatening step towards him.
"Well, I tend to be able to make my own fun when the timing is suitable," he says.
"Leave him alone, he's not some rock you can kick around," I say.
"Getting a bit protective are we? I thought you were only that way for Moose," he says flashing a small smile.
"If you lay a hand-" I'm cut off when the car door squeaks open.
I look back and see Cas looking between Crowley and I.
"Hey Cassie, just having a lovely chat with your boyfriend here," Crowley cheers and I shoot him a glare.
The door closes and I turn back around to see Cas coming around the car. I watch to see what he'll do.