Listen to "Again" by Noah Cyrus.
I stumble on the stairs as I made my way up to the apartment, the bottle of vodka heavy in my hand. The alcohol running in veins. I couldn't remember the last time I was sober.
I felt my stomach churn from the excess of alcohol. I took another sip from the bottle, feeling the bile rise up to my mouth, puking everything out. I could feel my tears welling up, yet I still couldn't feel numb with so much alcohol in me.
I searched for my keys as I got to my floor.
"Where did I keep them?", I mummer.
"Looking for something?"
I gasped at the voice, "W-what are you doing here?"
"I don't know. You tell me? Why do your friends keep calling me to knock some sense into you?", he said, bending to seem more intimidating.
"Listen, I don't need y'alls concern. I can handle myself."
"Clearly not. You just puked your guts out on the stairs. Your friends are worried about your health, and god knows if your parents even know about this."
"Yeah fuck you, Harry. I don't give two shits about what you think. This is my life. Please fuck out of it", I spat. I felt more sober than I had felt in the past couple of weeks.
"The feeling is mutual. Your friends are pissing me so tell them to stop calling me."
"It's not like you ever cared about me or my friends so why are you here now?", I was livid. How could he say things like that? He had no right to crap about my friends.
"I did care about you", he muttered.
"Yeah? When? When you showed up with your ex girlfriend on our first anniversary? Or when you fucked your best friend behind my back? Or when you lied about loving me? Or when you ruined my friendship with Jay because he seemed like competition to you? Or was it when you stood me up on our third anniversary to go fuck anyone who opened their legs for you and didn't even think about me or my feelings? Do tell me which of these incidents show that you cared even one bit about me, Harry because I can go on."
"I didn't mean for those things to happen. You know that."
"Yet, they all happened, didn't they?"
I sighed, "Just leave, Harry. I don't think I can deal with this right now."
He breathed out, "Let me at least fix you a meal."
I looked up, memories flashing in my mind. I shook my head, "I don't think that would be necessary."
"Listen, I just want to do my part. I did do a lot of things wrong. Let me do this."
"If you start now you'll need another lifetime to be able to repent your wrongs so just leave."
"Why are you being so difficult, Y/N? I just want to take care of you, dammit!"
"I don't need your care! Why don't you get it? I can't fucking breathe with you near me, please leave", I whimpered, falling to my knees.
"Y/N", he whispered.
"I can't do this anymore, Harry. I- I can't behave like I don't love you so please please leave me", I cried out.
