Taming the Rebel Heart ( Sequel to Rebel Heart- GirlxGirl)

FIFTY

Morning came fast the next day. Too fast, I can't even remember if I had actually slept. I went to bed last night with a fervent desire of getting a much needed rest, but the moment my body came in contact with the silky fabric, soothing me with its warmth, supposedly lulling me to sleep, ironically nothing close to that happened. Sleep did not come easy last night. I was constantly shifting on my bed; trying so hard to get comfortable with each position I try, but I'd always end up anxious with each passing second. All I know is that I am tired and I want to lay my thoughts to rest, but my brain was making it so impossible. It was constantly commanding me to do the opposite of what I wanted; continuously reminding me that I should get on my feet and get going even though my whole body was whacked up tired. It was a battle between mind and body and after grueling hours of retaliating, my brain succumbed and my physical self racked up victory. I would like to think that I overslept the entire day yesterday so my poor brain couldn't tolerate anymore sleeping so it was to defiant at first. Or maybe I was too pre occupied about everything that Lexi and I talked about. It was all I thought of quite frankly.

I believe you. I trust you. I love you.

Those were her words. It was ringing my ears, sending shivers down my body, reassuring me one more time. And what can I say? It felt good, no it felt great. I needed it. I mean with our current situation, I start to question Lexi's love for me. I know it may sound immature in all sorts but I can't really help myself thinking that way. For weeks I've been juggling everything in my hand. I have an empire to run, people are depending on me and I don't want to let them down. And theres the case,;I need every ounce of energy to put William behind bars as soon as possible or before he gets a chance to do anything stupid again. I had to take care of my family most importantly and make sure that none of what happened before happens again. I can't afford putting my father, Lexi or everyone close to me in danger. And with all these, I almost feel like giving up. I was mentally and emotionally drained. I feel like everything is pulling me down and I am struggling to remain standing with no support. Alone. It would've been okay, I can do it. I mean I know I can get past everything just as long as I have her. I will be fine just as long as I know that she believes in me, that she trusts me; but arguing over Walt over and over again made me feel otherwise.

In the end, my girlfriend who's the one reason why I'm doing all these wouldn't even believe me; and for me that was the final straw. I was too close to giving up.

Last night, my head was a mess and so is my heart. It was brimming with emotions I didn't know how to handle. I was standing in front of her, trying so hard not to explode in pieces but at one point I just didn't give a damn of what she'll think of me anymore. I just lost it and I know I had to tell her and show her how it greatly affects me and my sanity. I had to try one more time. I don't want to hide anything anymore.

I need to let her know what's inside my chest; and I'm glad I did. Slowly, the words were spewing out from my mouth and I couldn't be more relieved afterwards. Thankfully, after everything that's said and done, I could finally say that my faith in our relationship, in her, was restored.

But what disturbed me the most was Walt's invitation. I can't say his invitation is unusual because they went for coffee the last time, and that was the first time since his father died. I would like to think of it as merely catching up and Lexi being this compassionate friend. But then I also remember that William was close to getting insane if I did not step into the scene. I mean why would he want to meet up with Lexi this time? What for? What could he be up to this time? I may not know it yet but I am a hundred and one percent that it's nothing good.

I'd usually see Walt down town, in coffee parlors, the Willis tower. He's just everywhere I go, but lately our encounters have become less frequent; although, it no longer comes to me as a surprise. Surely, William is just as busy as I am; and while I am finding every piece of the puzzle to point him as the culprit, he too is plotting another threat to my family. Again, I'm sure about that but I will never let that happen again. He is a fool to think that he can get away with what he has done.