Taming the Rebel Heart ( Sequel to Rebel Heart- GirlxGirl)

ELEVEN

Reneé Buoyguese, young, rich, powerful, GORGEOUS and any man would kill just to be with her. Yet I found myself looking at Lexi as she turned to leave and walk away. I tried so hard not to look at her all throughout breakfast because I know that once I did, getting my gaze off of her would be impossible. It would be a battle I'll surely lose because quite frankly I still find her very beautiful and I guess it's the only thing that's not ever going to change.

I tried to act that her presence was nothing, that it did not bother me at all. But how can I possibly do that when she looked so irresistible and charming in a crisp boyfriend blazer and a pair of black pants that emphasized her bum. I could stare at her all day if you ask me. I shook my head in an effort to rid my mind of her. My undying attraction towards her is slowly getting out of hand and I strongly fear where it would lead me. I just couldn't afford that anymore.

I could say that my attempt in ignoring Lexi was pretty much successful but not until I said something quite stupid without much thought. I just said out loud, in front of everyone that it's hard living a life without her. I mean was I thinking still? Did I just blurt it out and sounded so vulnerable? But however stupid it was, it would be a lie to deny its truth. Fact was, living without her was a battle and every single day for the last years, I've successfully came out of it alive, but apparently unfeeling.

I should be focusing on this fine specimen in front of me, should be drawn to this French beauty, should notice how red her cheeks were every time I would stare at her. But how can I possibly do that, when my feet was itching to run after Lexi, stop her and maybe stare at those piercing blue eyes that managed to keep me awake at night ever since our meeting at the office.

No. Stop it Gab. You're not supposed to feel anything for her.

I felt a strong whack inside my head accompanied by a very familiar voice and instantly I was dragged back to reality. It's been quite a while since I've heard the voice and I do not like what it does to me nor how it makes me feel, though it was the same familiar voice that pulled me out of the misery I was in 4 years ago. The familiar voice was the one who saved me. It was the one who reminded me that I was so much more even without her.

It was the one ringing in my ears, telling me that I do not need her or anyone. It was the one who castigated me every time thoughts of her would cross my mind. And it was also the one who taught me to be this version of "me", cold, hard, unfeeling, though I know it was the only way for me to protect myself. That voice was my brain telling me to restrain myself and save me from this foolishness. My brain was telling me every day that there's no room for vulnerability because it only means one thing, weakness.

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When the meeting was over, I offered to take Reneé to her hotel so she could rest after the exhausting travel. I knew she was tired because an 8 hour flight is so exhausting not to mention boring, well at least for me. Though she assured me that she was okay, I insisted to give her some time to relax. I wanted her to rest well and maybe later today, we'd hang out and stroll around Chicago. Reneé was vibrant although there's a cloud of mystery surrounding her and mysterious women intrigues me so much. But no, I wasn't thinking of getting into any form of relationship with her besides friendship. Not to mention Reneé Buoyguese is 180 degrees straight so hooking up is not really in her vocabulary, although there was something in the way she looks at me. It's like she was just restraining the beast in herself and was just waiting for someone to unleash the animal in her. It sounded very appealing to me and I mentally slapped myself for picturing her in my bed doing wild and nasty stuff. God I need to stop!

I would be lying if I'd say that I am not attracted to Reneé because quite frankly I am very attracted to her .She is like a movie star who walked out from the television in all her glory, leaving everyone in awe of her exquisite beauty. Her skin looked so smooth and I idly wondered how would it feel against mine. Really Gab you should stop! But it is a very effective way to distract me from thinking about Lexi. So yeah I won't.