Taming the Rebel Heart ( Sequel to Rebel Heart- GirlxGirl)

NINETEEN

 Pure longing. It's the only reason why I ended up kissing the woman who hurt me and left me four years ago. All these years, I've lived with the thought that whatever it was that I felt for her has been completely wiped out from my system. So what the hell happened back there? I longed for her. There's no denying on that. I had it in me. I kept it inside far too long and it was too late for me to realize that I've made them so strong and so powerful that one day, they went beyond my control and I was left on the losing end. It's impossible to fight those urges anymore. She makes it so impossible for me to resist her. The feeling of finally holding her in my arms was a liberating moment for me. It was like finding peace in the midst of war. Tasting her once more felt like feasting over a bounty after a long period of famine. Her touch against my skin was like a rain in the midst of drought. Everything in that moment was beyond perfect, until two people decided to fvck it up.

"Too quiet huh"

I glanced over at Ava who is sitting in the passenger's side of my car. Ava's stare remained fixed outside as I glanced at her for the second time. She hasn't said anything since we got inside my car, like she's in deep thought over something.

"Why do you think I'm quiet?"

She spoke after a moment of silence.

"I don't know"

I shrugged as I continued to fix my gaze on the road.

At the realization that Lexi and I were being watched by Ava and Bastienne, I felt like the ground broke open and separated us both. The faint smile on her lips after the kiss turned into a thin line of disappointment. I saw her face fell when Bastienne asked Ava if I was her girlfriend. I had no chance to explain myself at all because this woman sitting a few inches from me was dragging me downstairs. I tried calling out to her but everything happened so fast. She was already out of my sight.

When we got downstairs, I saw Liv alongside Max and she isn't very happy seeing me with Ava. I promised her I'd come back but I don't think she believes me. Maybe she thought that I'd fool around again and break my promise but I haven't really talked to her about Lexi and maybe if she knew what's been happening to us, maybe she'd trust me that I'd keep my promise.

"There's a difference between you don't know and you don't wanna know"

Ava pulled me out from my thoughts but instead of answering her, all I could do was shrug. What was I to say anyway?

"Look Gab, I'm sorry for intruding such an intimate moment.."

I smiled as the images of Lexi and I kissing at a Pub's rooftop flooded my mind. It's been four long years, it should feel all too different now. Lexi has changed and so did I, but why do I feel like it's still the same burning desire, the type that kept me sleepless the first night I saw her. Her kisses felt different in a way that it also felt too familiar at the same time. I shook my head as I tried to push the thought back into the farthest side of my brain. I think I am getting too carried away, and when I looked at Ava to speak, she was already looking at me with a smug on her face.

"Wow. This is by far the first time I am seeing you grinning like that"

"Like what?"

"Like an idiot Gab"

"Tss"

"A cute idiot"

"Cute?" I repeated after her.

"Fine! A green eyed gorgeous idiot. Happy?"

"I was until you and Bastienne walked in"

"Sorry! Oh God! I'm so sorry Gab. I felt fvckng horrible already"