Shattered Heart

Part 5 ~ "Michael is Mine"

I pull down my sleeve as fast as I can. "Nothing . . there's nothing on my arm!" I answer nervously. Elena grabs my arm and pulls up my sleeve again. "Oh my god, Jordyn! what did you do?! . . did you cut something in your arm?"

I pull away. She grabs my arm again. "There's a name on it, isn't it??"

I feel sick to my stomach. Why does she have to look at it?? now she's laughing . . it will not take long for everybody else to laugh along with her. 

"Michael?? . . haha . . Keisha's Michael?? . . so it's true! you ARE in love with him! HAHA!" She walks over to Jennifer and Keisha, laughing her ass off. I bet she's telling them now about my arm. Gosh. Why can't just leave me alone? . . WHY DID I LET HER LOOK AT MY ARM?

Soon the whole school will know about it and laugh at me. Especially Justin. I can imagine what kind of stuff he will say to me about it. Keisha walks over to me. Alone. "Hey Jordyn . . can I talk to you for a minute?"

I swallow nervously. "Umm . . sure, Keisha"

We walk down the hallway. Keisha stops in front of the drinking fountain. "I wanna talk to you about your arm, Jordyn . . is it true? . . did you cut Michael's name in your arm?"

I look down, shaking my head. I wanna talk but no words come out. "Are you in love with my boyfriend?" She puts her hand on my shoulder. I'm still out of words . . I can't talk. 

"Jordyn . . I think you're a nice girl . . I really do . . I don't hate you, if that's what you're thinking . . I kinda you, actually" I slowly look up at her. "You do?"

She nods. "Yea . . why shouldn't I? of course I like you . . but I have to talk to you about Michael" Right when she mentioned his name, I felt my heart explode.

"I notice how you stare at him during class . . and I know he's very sweet to you, protecting you from Justin and everything . . I think that's sweet of him but don't confuse it with affection . . Michael is only being nice to you because he has a big heart . . Michael and I are in love . . and I don't want you to feel sad for being in love alone . . cutting his name in your arm won't change anything . . ok? . . don't hurt yourself for someone who's never going to be yours . . I did it once and I regret it so much . . don't do this to yourself, girl . . there are lots of boys out there who would be thrilled to have you . . but it's not Michael . . ok? . . Michael is mine . . and he will always be mine . . I would hate for you to be sad and heartbroken . . and remember . . I don't hate you, Jordyn . . I think you're cool"

Keisha gives me one last smile and then walks back to Elena and Jennifer. I'm not sure how to feel after this conversation with Keisha. I am glad she was nice to me but everything she said felt like a knife cutting through my heart. I can't . . I don't even know what to feel right now . . I feel so humiliated.

I see Elena over there laughing her ass off. 

Oh, how I hate her . . why can't she just disappear? I can't stand her face, and I can't stand her personality . . she is so cold and mean . . I sit down next to my tree and start eating my sandwich . . I feel a tear rolling down my cheek. 

Why can't I just be removed from this earth? . . Keisha is right, Michael will NEVER be mine, so why did I even cut his name in my arm? - for nothing, I guess. He will never see it and he will never care. I stop eating my sandwich. I can't eat anymore. I'm feeling sick to my stomach. 

I don't wanna be in love with Michael. 

I don't want it anymore but there's nothing I can do . . he's on my mind 24/7 . . I wouldn't even be in school right now if it wasn't for him. Elena will have a good time sharing my secret with everyone. She will tell everyone in school how deeply in love I am with Michael and how stupid I am for cutting his name in my arm.