Teach Me To Behave

*Prologue*

And so there a lay. Curled up in a ball on the top half of my bed. My face resting on my pillow, pellets of rain hitting my window sill, tears running so fast down my face they all blurred into the feeling of one. My hands locked together, clutched against my chest as I held the last piece of him. A paper about the size of an index card. I shakily opened my palms, my eyes flashed against the last line of the small written letter.

I love you. Forever. - J

And at that moment I crumpled the paper back into my hands, scrunching my eyes shut as more tears poured out. This was it. This was then end. They always said that love would be enough. They said to trust your heart, that love would set you free. But he knew better. He always did. That was the best part about loving him, he saw the sunshine and the rain. Remembering the past brings pain to my chest, butterflies to my stomach, and tears to my eyes. But for what it's worth, I wouldn't change a single thing.

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I'd like to think that in most cases I'm pretty good at finding the right answer. Of course we all have our darker days, the days we wish we could completely blur from our memories. On the nights of those days praying that something might happen so we'd wake up and forget about all the stupid little things that've made a bigger than expected impact on our life. My darker days lay in my high school years. On the outside not many can tell, but on the inside I've changed, I've grown, I'm stronger, more independent . . . or so I'd like to think.

Since the day I was born my whole life had basically been laid out on a silver platter. No, I don't mean it in the way that I got everything I wanted as I demanded. My family was just incapable of change. We've lived in this same house since the day I was born, I'm 19 now. The family plan was subtle; I attended the nearest elementary, middle, and high school in the area and for college, I'd follow in the foot steps of my cousins- Virginia State. So when I'd firmly put my foot down and demanded that with my high grades and hopes I needed a more sufficient college, it had literally been a family tragedy.

Well now I was on the edge. School was starting in just a couple weeks and instead of packing my things, getting ready for a successful life, I was in the passenger seat of my dad's convertible. Holding a pamphlet to The University of Memphis in my right hand, waiting for my dad to come out of the house so we could take off to another one of my fathers high class meetings. I'd been carrying around the pamphlet like it was my child. Desperately trying to prove to my parents that I really wanted this.

A pair of stealthily large hands plastered themselves against the car window right beside me. My momentarily frightened expression turned into a happy laugh when I saw Joey rub his face against the outside of my window. Shaking my head as I laughed, I opened the car door and stepped out. "Hey Mila!" (pronounced me-la) Joey smiled sillily. Perking my lips at his unfailing ways to make me laugh, I through my arms around his waist and gave him a hug. "You busy? I kinda need a station run" He rose an eyebrow. When we were in high school, we'd have 'station runs' almost every Friday. Basically, after school that day, we'd walk to the nearest gas station and buy up all the junk we could afford with our extra lunch money from that week. Then we'd head back to one of our houses and ate till we felt sick.

"One sec, lemme just tell my dad" I ran inside, still holding my pamphlet and asked dad how long it'd be till we left. He told me he was already running a little late but we didn't have to be there until a half hour.

"You're still holding that pamphlet?" Dad added. I looked at the paper in my hand, then back at dad, I nodded with my chin held high. He shook his head, but it seemed like he was giving it a little bit of thought. I proceeded to tell him about Joey's request and promised I'd be back no later than 15 minutes.