Teach Me To Behave

20. Wearing Thin

I sat in the cushioned chair nervously tapping the handle bar as I watched Justin pace back and fourth. After every pivot he'd run his hand through his messy hair.

"Hey," I called grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the imaginary line he was walking on, "Relax. Sit down." I pulled him into the chair beside me.

He sat but deliberately shook his head, "I can't." He hopped right back out of the seat I'd just pulled him into and began pacing once more.

I slung my head back and closed my eyes for a few minutes. I was just in a emergency room last night with Justin, and now here I am again with Joey. Could my life get any more tragically interesting?

It'd only been about a half hour since we'd driven here. I was on edge the entire ride. Joey had opened his eyes once in the car ride up here, but he shut back down just minutes after. He'd really scared me the second that it'd happened. I wasn't sure what was up with him, but I was afraid to find out. I was stirring up trouble in my own mind.

"Excuse me, what are you doing?" I heard an older women's voice perk up near me. I lifted my head forward and laid eyes on the elderly nurse staring daggers into Justin. The women seemed to be around her 50's. "There is absolutely no smoking in here!" I glanced down at Justin's hands holding a cigarette in one and a lighter in the other.

"Piss off lady." Justin obscenely comments. He pulls the cigarette to his mouth and rests it between his lips. He turns his body away from her, pulling the lighter to the end of the cigarette.

"If you light that, I'm calling security." She threatens pulling out her little walkie-talkie to contact a guard.

I jumped up and pulled Justin's arm back toward me before he did something stupid and got us both kicked out. "That won't be necessary." I apologized to the women and grabbed the cigarette out of Justin's mouth. The women watched us both carefully. She glared over Justin's image and shook her head before silently walking away. I snatched the lighter from his fingertips.

I didn't want to start ranting like a mother and turn this into a huge fight. It seemed like Justin didn't want to either. I pointed to the chair and Justin immediately returned to it and sat down. He inhaled loudly.

"I know you're nervous okay, I am too, but you need to relax. You were just in here last night, I don't want you to hurt yourself." I spoke gently noticing the grimace look on his face. All this stress couldn't be good for the trauma on his head. He didn't like to show emotion, he'd block it out with some absurd act, but he was worried about Joey. As much as they fought and played around, they both cared.

He slung his body over and rested his arms on his knees before rubbing his face with the palms of his hands. "This is all my fault." he mumbled to the ground.

"No it's not." I responded. Justin didn't move or speak again for the moment, he just remained leaned over his own body.

When he finally gathered what he was going to say he sat up. "Yes it is. What, are you gonna blame the weather? Or the pals I had ambush him? None of us would be here if it weren't for me." He sighed.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I knew he felt guilty, but I knew it wasn't his fault. My mind had surfaced to thoughts that I was afraid to even be thinking. I may not be a doctor, but I am majoring in Radiology and so I do know a few things. I wasn't sure what was wrong with Joey, but it could be something more than just some chilly weather? That scared me.

"What?" Justin echoed in my ear and stripped me of my thoughts.

"What?" I responded eagerly jumping at the scare of his voice.