Maybe I am insane (dan howell x reader)

Chapter 2. Losing it

"Find what you love, and let it kill you."
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"Wait, so you've seen him before." Tom asked me, sitting in the chair across from the bed that I was sitting on.

I had just gotten finished explaining him the truth, at least, the truth that I remember. His facial expressions give off as if he doesn't believe me, he probably thinks I'm as crazy as everyone else thinks I am.

"we escaped here together, it was me, Dan, Phil, pj, and Chris!" I exclaimed.

He sighed looking down at the floor, "look
(Y/n), maybe-"

"No, no maybes, I know what happened!" I yelled slightly, I could slowly tell I was losing myself in this mess.

"Well you did say you saw him die, and he did just walk through the lobby, so how can you explain that one?" He questioned sarcastically  raising an eye brow.

I paused and sighed as I put my hands over my face to cover up tears that were starting to leak out.

"I don't know..." I mumbled into my hands, I felt weaker then usual, my emotions were running all over the place.

He looked at me in pity, then after a couple seconds passed by he scooted a bit closer to me, "listen, I'm not allowed to do this, but considering the psychological state you're in right now, I'll see if I can figure out some things." He whispered, then paused to think a second, and hesitatingly said, "I might even be able to see Daniels past records."

"There's nothing in his past records, just basic information." I said back.

"How would you know?" He questioned as he began to stand up.

"I told you, I used to work here, go ahead and look for yourself." I said folding my arms and rolling my eyes out of frustration.

He paused for a moment to think, "fine." He said walking out the door, leaving me alone. I've been containing my thoughts for too long, they're starting to eat me alive. I laid down and closed my eyes, not tired, but just wanting to think to myself for a bit.

After awhile tom came back, but he was hyperventilating, it seemed as if he was in a panic, "tom, what's wrong?" I asked, quickly getting out of the bed and running up to him.

He was chocking on his own words, it took him a while to even speak, "y-you were right." He whispered, avoiding eye contact with me as he just looked blankly at the wall trying to control his breath.

My eyes widened, "what?" I asked.

He jumped up and grabbed my arms, "you were right! I checked the information and it was all the same, but there was something else. A new paper that came in about a month ago, look at this." He said while raising the paper up in his hand and showing me.

Patient: Daniel Howell
Gender: male
Age: 26
Date of birth: June 11, 1991
No further information..

"This is the newest record of him." He said while handing me another paper.

Patient: Daniel Howell
Gender: male
Age: 26
Date of birth: June 11, 1991

"Patient escaped several months ago and was found with ex patient Phil Lester, Chris Kendall, and new comer patient (y/n) (y/l/n)."

"Patient Daniel Howell was drugged after and had many visits into EMDR therapy. Now suffering from memory loss due to the many pills. When Daniel Howell was found he was seen holding a gun to his head, a failed suicide attempt as before he could pull the trigger our workers found him and drugged him. So far he has no memory of anything that happened. We have completely separated Daniel Howell from seeing any of these people he associated with, the slightest contact with someone from his past could bring back his whole memory, which we can not have happen."

I took a step back, my eyes widening as I finished reading the paper, "he doesn't remember anything.." I whispered.

"I read your records too, and apparently they tried using the same therapy on you, but for some reason it didn't work, well at least not fully, they only managed to change it so you thought Dan died." Tom explained.

"I don't like what this place is hiding, this is all illegal!" Tom almost screamed in frustration as he grabbed the papers back.

I ignored his outburst and took a second to examine this, after a while of silence I decided that the only way to fix this was to talk to Daniel myself.

"I need to talk to Dan." I suddenly exclaimed grabbing the paper back from his hands, he looked at me in shock as his eyes widened,

"are you crazy?" He asked, his voice articulating the word 'crazy.'

"Please? It will only be for a minute, I just want to try." I begged, now being desperate for answers.

He debated on wether to let me out or not, for the sake of him not trusting me, yet then his eyes traveled down to the paper once more, and the realisation hit again that this place wasn't normal. "Fine, but if you're doing this, you have to do this right. He's obviously is not very fond of you at the moment, you have to change his mind about that." He explained.

I nodded, understanding what he meant, it's time for me to finally play the psychopath.