Justin
As my body hovered over hers I looked into her eyes and I could tell she was unsure if she really wanted to do this. I'm not gonna continue if I don't feel she's one hundred percent ready. I sighed and got up and sat on the edge of the bed, she closed her robe and sat up.
"What's wrong?"
"I can't do this right now"
"Why?"
"You don't really want it"
"I do.."
"No you don't. Just admit it, you don't wanna have sex"
"That's not true"
"I'm not gonna leave you, if you're not ready it's fine"
"Justin, this isn't easy"
She tied her robe and looked at me, nothing has been the same since that night. We've moved on but there's still areas within our relationship that has been damaged very badly.
"Talk to me, tell me how you feel.."
"I'm just..." I watched her tie her hair up in a bun and sigh. "I don't know"
"Is it me?"
"No.. Its not you, honestly. I just don't have the desire to have sex right now"
"Okay"
I grabbed my shirt off the nightstand and put it on, she watched me for second before she got up and went into the bathroom. It's kind of frustrating not knowing exactly what's going through her mind. But I take full responsibility for the damage I've done. I picked my phone up and glanced at the messages that were displayed across the screen. I threw the phone down and sighed, this is why my relationship is suffering..
I tripped over a shoe that was on the floor and fell into the wall. "Shit"
I pushed the bathroom door open and stood in the doorway as Zahara wiped tear stained makeup off her face. I took the makeup wipe out of her hand and lifted her chin and made her look me in the eyes. I wiped her eyes and kissed her forehead..
"I'm not upset, don't ever think I'd be upset over something like this"
"I don't know what's wrong with me.."
"You just had my baby, maybe your hormones are still all over the place. I don't know but whatever it is we'll get through it. We can be celibate together until you're feeling up to it"
"I've gone over a year without sex before don't get yourself into something you'll regret"
"That's fine"
She crossed her arms and tried to hide the shock behind what I said, I'm fine with waiting a little longer. I've waited seven weeks already and I know it won't be exactly easy. But I know it'll be worth the wait in more ways than one. Our relationship could use some more healing anyway.
"You'd never make it.."
"I think you'll give in first anyway"
She looked shocked by the fact that I assumed she'd give in first, she will.. I'm sure.
"I highly doubt that"
I smirked and held my hand out. "Wanna bet?"
She hesitantly took my hand and smiled, I knew this would work..
