It Started with Ice Cream, and Ended with Fangs

Chris VII

It was weird enough, seeing Baylee being that motherly towards the kid. Well, less weird then when she was trying to molest me, but still pretty weird, coming from her. Considering she was a crazy British psychopath who liked to call me and the other members of the house Beatles names. I'm pretty sure she screamed at Kiros, calling her Yoko or whatever.

She continued to coo to the little girl, turning back to me.

"Can we keep it?"

Excuse me, what? Lady, its not a pet, its a human being. We can't just keep it.

Baylee pouted, hugging the child closer. "Don't mind him, hes just a big meanie." The little girl nodded and smiled a bit, as her crying had stopped. The little girl clung to Baylee, apparently not upset anymore. What the hell.

Seeing as I had no say in the situation what so ever, I just decided to sigh and follow Baylee back into the house with the child. Knowing Baylee, she would probably wait for it to grow up, bite it, and then purposely make sure that the child turned into a bisexual to have a 'sexy phase' with the kid.

Run while you can! Run!

Baylee glared at me for a minute, before pushing herself and the child through the door to the house. Kiros was just coming up the stairs, looked at the kid, looked at me, then nodded slowly before heading back into the basement. I Sure hope she doesn't think I'm the dad...

"Chris. Chris!" The British bitch was snapping her fingers in front of my face. "Watch the kid, will you, my hair feels gross." It also looks stupid, its way to poofy. Honestly woman, Xavier is right, you need to go to a hair salon at some point in your life.

She marched her way up the stairs, and I set myself down on the couch, looking at the little girl. She smiled slightly, and, well. Why must small children always be so fucking adorable? 

"Uh... Hi." She mumbled, moving uncomfortably in the seat she was in. See Baylee, you kidnapped the child and now shes scared. Nice going.

"Yeah... That." I nodded, turning my head away. "Sorry about uh... the crazy one."

"No its fine! Shes nice!" The little girl chirped. Right, right. Baylee is nice. No. That's a lie. "I'll be fine here, I'm sure you have other things to do then just sit here and watch me." Well, gee.

"Yeah, uhm..." So, that settles that. I got up, and made my way up the stairs. I'm coming Xavier! I'm going to get those final tangles out of your hair! I yanked open the door and-

I think I went blind there for a minute. Because I was sure that wasn't Xavier, because men don't have those unnatural lumps of fat attached to their chest.

And that's when I knew I was totally gay.

---

After falling down the stairs and staring at the ceiling for about half and hour, I finally realized Baylee was almost as pissed off as I was traumatized. She was pacing back and forth in front of me, growling.

"How could walk in on me like that! That is disgusting!" Oh, really? You do it all the fucking time whenever I'm doing something COMPLETELY CLEAN, like FIXING Xaviers hair. Or when I'm really taking a fucking shower! What the hell is your problem lady? The girl was just sitting on the couch still, giggling.

"It was her idea!" I pointed, even though that sounded as stupid as it looked. "She told me I didn't have to watch her."

"Why are you blaming her? Shes a small defenceless child!" Baylee was in full out rage mode now, and I thought she was scary before...

And it wasn't long before I stopped giving a crap about what was coming out of Baylees mouth. Or that long until, like the manly man I am- ended up blacking out again.

--

"We are never adopting another child again!" Baylee yelled in my ear, pointing to all the torn up furniture and blood splattered carpets. "You understand me? I hope you do." She huffed, stalking about the house. Wait, what? "You don't remember anything?" She rolled her eyes, "That little girl! She possessed you somehow."

"What?" Well, thats just great, being possessed by a five year old girl. "But she was human, right...?"

"Apparently not. She was older then me! Thank god you're more girly then I thought, or else it would have been really hard to fight you off long enough to give her a good few whacks." Excuse me? I'm girly? What.

"How old are you anyway?" Baylee glared, and looked like she was ready to slap me.

"YOU don't ASK women what their ages are! Thats just rude!" She screeched, giving me her burning eyes of death.

Dear god, why am I here again?