Chapter 5 - Confessions

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Chapter 5 – Confessions

Clare’s POV

This is the happiest I had ever been in along time. I was snuggled up to Niall on the couch in his hotel room with the other boys. We were watching ‘Crocodile Dundee’ and I couldn’t help but laugh at some of the things he did.

We went out for food, when Niall got hungry which was extremely often, it was like he was constantly grazing. But by the end of the second day of dating him, I was sick of it. “Okay I refuse to go out again for food, no matter how good Nando’s is. I’m ordering room service” I picked up the phone and ordered literally ¾ of the menu for us. Once we were all happily eating down on various food items I had an idea.

“Anyone want to play 20 questions?” I asked between mouthfuls, I realized I knew hardly anything about these boys.

“Okay cool, I’ll start. Clare, favourite colour?” Niall asked.

“Yellow”

“Okay, book?”

“The Tomorrow Series by John Marsden!!! Those books changed my life!!” I screamed.

“Are they really that good?” asked Liam pretending to have broken ear drums.

“You’ve never read them? Honey you have not lived! Anyway next question” I smiled and sat back down, putting my feet up on Niall’s lap.

“Favourite movie”

“Angus, thongs and perfect snogging” I giggled. That movie was hilarious.

“When’s your birthday?” Niall kept firing.

“August 8th, wait when’s your’s?”

“September 13th” I nodded burning the date into my brain.

“These questions are too boring. So Clare-bear when was your first kiss?” Louis wiggled his eyebrows for emphasis. I rolled my eyes.

“Grade 9, I was 14 and it was a birthday kiss”

“Are you a virgin?” this was getting too close to a bad memory.

“Yes” I whispered.

“When was your first serious relationship?” he pressed. Too close, I felt the familiar stinging in the back of my throat that came just before I was going to cry.

“Excuse me” I chocked out before fleeing the room.

I locked myself in the bathroom, and lay down in the empty bath tub, using a towel for a pillow. I was one of those people that cried silently, I felt tears making tracks down my cheeks but I didn’t wipe them away. I tried to push the memories down like I usually did but this time they wouldn’t obey. It was like it just happened yesterday. Images flashed through my mind.

There was a knock at the door but I made no move to get up and unlock it. “Clare-bear” Niall’s voice came through “please let me in” but I couldn’t face him now, tell him now. So I just stayed where I was until I heard retreating footsteps. There was only one person I wanted to talk to right now. So I waited to Zayn to come knock on the door.

After Louis and Harry had tried he knocked and I let him in straight away. I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried. He shut the door and just hugged me. I had grown quite close to Zayn over the past two days, closer then I was with Louis. He was like me in a lot of ways but I never thought of him as more then a brother though.

“Clare what’s happened to you? You always try to avoid the topic of your past relationships, what did someone do to you?” He whispered. He was bang on about the sensitivity about relationships. I sank down against the door and he sank with me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

“When I was 16, I was head-over-heels in love with this guy called Jack, or McFagatron as he is now known. Anyway, we dated for about a year when I found out he had been doing chicks behind my back for the entire time we dated. My heart was shattered to a million pieces; I broke up with him the same day I found out. And I promised to never put myself through that pain again.” I don’t know why but I felt like I could tell Zayn anything.

“Clare that’s horrible, but Niall cares about you too much to do that to you” He said rubbing my arm.

“It gets worse; a week later he got really drunk and came round my house. My parents were out so it was just me. He tried to rape me Zayn, he almost did, and he would’ve if Lydia hadn’t shown up when she did. I was so scared, no one knows except for Lydiee but I made her swear not to tell anyone” I cried harder into his shoulder.

“Clare, its okay that was months ago and you’re with Niall now, he would never do that to you. If he ever cheated on you I would clobber him” he smiled and I smiled too.

“Thanks Zayn, but please don’t tell him any of this, I’m not ready for him to know” I pleaded.

“Oh course, but we better go before he knocks the door down” I giggled and let him pull me up. I hugged him and thanked him again, wiping away the last of my tears.

“Thanks for listening to the confessions of a damaged girl”

When I walked back into the living room, it was really quiet. Louis looked extremely guilty about making me cry and Niall looked so worried. I sat down next to him, picked up my sandwich. “Sorry about that PMS, so where were we? That’s right, Angus, thongs and perfect snogging is my favourite movie. Next question!” I yelled acting as if the last 20 minutes hadn’t happened.

Niall kept looking at me worriedly so I pecked him on the cheek and told him I was fine.

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